Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Riot Act

make-believe mayhem
  (+10, -2)(+10, -2)
(+10, -2)
  [vote for,

My t-shirt reads, "I am a RIOT survivor." I flip casually through a Vogue magazine as the bus pulls up to my stop. Other passengers eye me as I hop off with a baseball bat into an abandoned district of town. Two blocks down I find the sign-up table and ink-in my name.
"Hello, again, k_sra," says Justin, the friendly greeter. "I see you're back for another stampede."
"Couldn't say no," I smile as I hand him my waiver. "Are the Ruff Riders here today?"
"I think I saw Bill go in already. But it's still early."

I enter the chained-link perimeter of the stomping grounds of this town's one and only Riot Club, where you can break, smash, steal, burn, maul, destroy anything you can get your hands on ... except the other participants. I rub my hands together gleefully and wave at the loyal group of punkers waiting to burn off some teen angst. Next to them is a small confligration of housewives, chatting and leaning on shovels and broomsticks.

I grab a coffee from the snack table. Best to do it now: it's usually not standing by the end of the day. I look critically down the row of buildings and cars available for the smashing. I spot a little gray stationwagon with my name on it. That's why I brought the bat. "Your glass is mine, pal," I whisper over my cup of decaf.

It's gonna be a good day.

k_sra, Mar 21 2005

The riot act http://www.spartacu...net.co.uk/Lriot.htm
Have someone read it to you today. [ato_de, Mar 22 2005]


       "a small confligration of housewives"? I had not encountered this collective noun.
Basepair, Mar 21 2005

       Uhm, yes, that would be a blend of "conflagration" and "configuration." : )   

       Use it in a sentence today!
k_sra, Mar 21 2005

       interesting category.
po, Mar 21 2005

       [po], it was that or "mutual destruction."
k_sra, Mar 21 2005

       Ooh, ooh, ok I changed it to Health:Stress Relief... not that that changes much.   

       So, how is everyone today? How's the weather?
k_sra, Mar 21 2005

       just another manic monday.
yabba do yabba dabba, Mar 21 2005

       I wish it was Yesterday.
gnomethang, Mar 21 2005

       yeah, better category. <may I brain my assistant with a large brick? please>
po, Mar 21 2005

       The rules say people are off limits. With luck s/he may have parked next to the fence, ready for your bricking pleasure.
Worldgineer, Mar 22 2005

       Three people walking abreast constitute a riot.
mensmaximus, Mar 22 2005

       k_sra: Although I like it, it's too similar to ARRRRGH's (in this same category) for me to give it another bun. Oh, what the hell, [+] anyway, and sign me up.
sophocles, Mar 22 2005

       I like the idea of destroying part of a city better than my ARRRGH's idea. Ironically, I'm one of the calmest people you can ever meet.
Machiavelli, Mar 22 2005

       Can you blow stuff up?
wagster, Mar 22 2005

       BYOE. Bring Your Own Explosives.   

       I see what you mean, [sophocles]. I missed that one in my search. This idea veers towards group mentality and violence. The chance to be part of an unthinking mob, overturning cars and pulling doors off hinges and what have you. Looting is optional. I'm thinking there might be some useless appliances inside the "shops" for your robbing pleasure.   

       I'm sorry, [po]. {{{{hug}}}}
k_sra, Mar 22 2005

       is that permission to brain (ha! would be good if she had one, although that might make her dangerous!) my assistant?
po, Mar 22 2005

       ok. i see. even cooler.
sophocles, Mar 22 2005

       Also B.Y.O.T.&.G (bring your own tanks and guns)?
Machiavelli, Mar 22 2005

       Could it please be in the parts of the city where all the lawyers offices are? Time they got cut down a peg.
froglet, Mar 23 2005

       I'm not sure you can call it a riot if there is no looting.
What happens if I forget my crowbar? Can I rent one?
brodie, Mar 23 2005

       Everything's a weapon, [brodie]. That's one thing my brothers taught me...
k_sra, Mar 23 2005

       You can use one of your brothers as a weapon?
skinflaps, Mar 23 2005

       Hehe. Yes, actually. Especially with clingy guys... BigBrothers work great!
k_sra, Mar 23 2005


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