Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Lots of safes

But which one holds the goods?
  [vote for,

If you're rich enough to need a safe, then you're probably rich enough to implement this idea.

Why not have lots of safes; either one hidden behind every picture in the house, or if you don't go in for the kitsch hiding thing, then just a wall four-square with shiney steel safes. Any catburglar who gains access to your house to steal your wife's diamond necklace, change your will, or photograph the plans for your new satellite super weapon, will have, not only to pick the safe, but find the right one in the first place. The other safes could contain comedy consolation prizes like a cuddly toy, or a nice flan.

This would, of course be no protection against safe opening by the owner under duress, that is more the field of dummy save with booby traps and panic combinations that I'll bet has been discussed here in the past.

I think that the many safes in one wall thing could look pretty stylish, and I'd probably end up using the other safes as cupboards and not locking them, but if used correctly this system could lead to major changes in bad soap opera storylines.

Zircon, Jan 17 2003


       I've more or less baked this. I have over a dozen small safes and secure hideaways built into my house. Various keys and items of value that can be broken down into parts i.e. cameras are dispersed into different locations.   

       None of the safes are specially expensive or particualrly secure - they are "fit for purpose". But a thief would spend a while finding the first one as they're all concealed. Then they would spend a while breaking in. And then they would find they had got only a selection of heterogenous parts of relatively limited intrinsic value. So then the hunt starts for the next safe ....
8th of 7, Jan 17 2003

       I love treasure hunts so am inspired to put cryptic clues for the thief to help/hinder the hunt for the next safe in the trail.
po, Jan 17 2003

       [8th] bought any copies of 'catcher in the rye' recently?   

       [po] hinder would be the thing I think.
Zircon, Jan 17 2003

       I want a really big safe, containing a smaller safe, which contains a smaller one, etc., etc. The last safe will contain the "Geekoo clock".
X2Entendre, Jan 17 2003

       Not fiendish enough!   

       You really need most of the safes to be fakes, which are identical in appearance to the one or few true safes, but do not actually open for any combination. Instead they just make the interesting faint clicking noises as if for a large number of tumblers.   

       This also has the advantage that they wouldn't need space quite so deep so less space need be wasted or more pseudosafes packed in. For example you could have a real safe and a fake one on opposite sides of the same wall. Also it would be slightly cheaper.   

       (Of course they'd have to be sturdily inserted into the wall so the crim wouldn't just yank them out to see which were fake)
Loris, Jan 17 2003

       "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Crimnality squares. And here's our first contestant, Johnny the Burgular ....   

       Now, Johnny, there are thirty-six safes in the wall. Some contain valuable objects. Some contain toxic gas, venomous animals, or a fragmentation grenade with the pin out. You've got two minutes - your time starts NOW !"   

       Baying mob: "Number three .... No, no, number fourteen ..... "
8th of 7, Jan 17 2003

       I like this. Croissant (but you'll have to find it...)
Evil_Baron_Moustachio, Jan 17 2003

       Or one could deposit one's valuables in the bank.
ImBack, Jan 17 2003

       [X2] I love the idea of a fake safe where a troll pops out and shouts "loser" at the would be burglar. Except that maybe the burglar would just give up and trash the place instead.
egbert, Jan 18 2003

       sp: consolation
bristolz, Jan 18 2003

       But then again, what burglar would rather have the plans to a fiendish sattellite death ray than a nice flan? I know I wouldn't.   

       [8th] You're rather protective over your property .... Sure you're not mad?
Mrlemonjelly, Nov 22 2005

       "The second number in the combination to the 14th safe is equal to the third number in the combination to the 5th safe plus 1/2 the sum of the first numbers in the 1st and 7th safes"
phundug, Nov 22 2005

       Bun, but MFD Let's all...   

       Actually, I think anyone with enough money to buy a safe should buy several, so, let's all do it once we get rich, and pretend it isn't MFD.
ye_river_xiv, Jun 28 2006

       /comedy consolation prizes/ - got my bun with that.
bungston, Jun 28 2006

       Bun bun bun. If you want real security, have a well of safes but put your valubles under the carpet. The burglerators will spend all their time getting the fakes and will quickly get caught.
dbmag9, Jun 28 2006

       spend all of your money on the safes, so then you don't have anything left for valubles.
tcarson, Jun 28 2006

       Just buy very heavy valuables. Someone stole my telly once - they won't do that with a plasma.
wagster, Jun 29 2006

       consolation prizes, huh?, would that include a gutfull of teargas to make it a bit more difficult to get to the next safe/level, like a conputer game, every time you get a bad safe you get a toxic dose, but there are good safes as well, maybe a glass of water to wash the teargas out of yer eyes, or a map of all the safes in the house, then another bad one, which fires compressed air through a barrel, which is full of rusty nails, at crotch height.
Stork, Dec 20 2006

       hmmn, have we done the 'panic safe' ?
neilp, Dec 21 2006


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