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The "Grimesby Roylott" SafeVarium

Inbuilt security
  [vote for,

In the Sherlock Holmes story "The Speckled Band", the villain, Dr. Grimesby Roylott of Stoke Moran, keeps a venomous snake in a safe in his room.

This proves to be unwise.

However, the principle is not without merit.

It's one thing to break into a safe for the purposes of theft; it's quite another to break into a safe containing an aggressive, venomous reptile.

To exploit this extra security feature, BorgCo are developing a safe designed explicitly to provide a residence for the snake of your choice.

The safe is delivered, complete with occupant, by our skilled installation team, who fix it in the desired location and connect an electricity supply.

Simply place your valuble items in the compartment and shut the door. The snake then has free run of the interior, with light and heat provided.

To access your items, enter your combination. A sequence of cues lures the snake into a separate area, which is then partitioned off, and an indication that it is safe to open the door is given.

The snake is monitored remotely by BorgCo veterinarians to ensure its health and welfare. Each week, a cartridge is delivered containing a live mouse. Remove the existing cartridge and discard as it will contain the snake's droppings, and possibly shed skin, and insert the fresh one. Snake's expectations of life aren't high, and a warm place to live and a mouse once a week is their idea of the good life.

We regret that the Komodo Dragon version, for larger items, is not likely to be on the market in the forseeable future, due to unanticipated technical issues*.

*Applications for the unexpectedly (and tragically) vacated post of Monitor Lizard Wrangler are invited, with a very attractive remuneration and benefits package. Candidates with specific experience of persuading very large, bad-tempered reptiles to regurgitate Grandpa's gold half-hunter pocket watch and chain will be especially welcome. Applicants should note that the contract includes a far-reaching confidentiality clause, particularly relating to anything (or anyone) else said lizard may regurgitate.

8th of 7, Sep 08 2017

The Speckled Band https://en.wikipedi...f_the_Speckled_Band
A classic. [8th of 7, Sep 08 2017]


       So obviously the first thing to do when robbing said safe is to see if there are any airholes in it. Next, cut the power to it for about a week, and reduce the interior temperature.
RayfordSteele, Sep 09 2017


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