Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Milk alarm

A cool idea
  [vote for,

Some humans have an unacceptable habit of taking a container of fresh milk from a refrigerator, using a small amount, and then walking off - leaving the milk on the worktop to get warm and sour.

The new BorgCo system uses a disposable RFID tag on the milk container which is recognised by a transponder in the fridge. When a new container is placed in the fridge and the door is closed, the system recognizes and remembers the tag

If it is removed from the fridge for more than a preset interval (default 30 seconds ) a synthesized voice starts to intone "Milk left out ..." in progressively louder and more shouty cadences* until the milk is put back, or the fridge is told by the SysAdmin to "forget" that tag.

That is all.

*Apparently administering merciless violent beatings to non-cooperative cow-orkers who leave the milk out is unacceptable.

8th of 7, Nov 04 2019

Just think of the child support payments https://www.scienti...million-dairy-cows/
9 million milk cows from just 2 bulls. No b.s. [RayfordSteele, Nov 05 2019]

More screaming to deter office savagery Haunted_20Bog_20Brush
[calum, Nov 05 2019]


       "There has been an interruption to the power supply. Please return the last 32,768 milk bottles to the refrigerator then press and hold 'RESET' for 5 seconds."
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 04 2019

       The speed of the coldness leaking out of the milk depends a lot on the ambient temperature of the room, the conductivity of the surface that the container is placed on, the material and thickness of the container, and also how much milk is left in the container.   

       Therrefore, instead of a timer, would it not be better to have a temperature measuring thingy immersed in the milk at the bottom of the container, connected to the rfid tag? That way the system can keep track of the temperature of the milk and sound the alarm once it has warmed to, say, 0.5K above fridge mean.
pocmloc, Nov 04 2019

       More halfbaked, certainly; but even the original idea is a highly unsatisfactory compromise compared with giving the culprit a right ding alongside the lughole with a length of rubber hose filled with lead shot, then as they're on their hands and knees whimpering, kicking them in the side of the thigh and screaming "Milk ! Put it away, you moron ! " then stamping on their fingers.
8th of 7, Nov 04 2019

       Oh dear! Lumpy tea again today [8th]?
Frankx, Nov 04 2019

       Actually, I agree wholeheartedly with the idea. I’d like to be able to configure it to scream “Put me back in the fridge you inconsiderate b**tard” right away after 30 seconds.
Frankx, Nov 04 2019

       We assure you that you'll find the rubber hose filled with lead shot much, much more satisfying.   

       // Lumpy tea again //   

       No, just a two litre container of semi-skimmed bought fresh this morning, and should have lasted three days, but poured away this evening after only about 20% was used because it was already starting to turn.   

       By the day after tomorrow things may have improved somewhat, because tomorrow we're planning to cut the brake pipes on her car.
8th of 7, Nov 04 2019

       A short length of chain connecting the handle of the bottle to the back of the fridge (or a large lump of steel/concrete at the back of the fridge); enough to make it useable, but not able to go beyond the edge of the open fridge door.
neutrinos_shadow, Nov 04 2019

       ... meaning the door gets left open too.   

       Brake pipes it is, then.
8th of 7, Nov 04 2019

       You mean you don't have a Milk Maid?
xenzag, Nov 05 2019

       You should be consuming Almond Milk anyway. Lasts longer, and it's not from a poor beautiful cow standing in a stall all day having it's boobs pulled by a machine. If you ever had a sore boob you would know what I'm trying to say here.
blissmiss, Nov 05 2019

       If humans didn't drink milk, there would be many, many fewer cows; it humans were all vegetarians, there would probably be no cows at all ...   

       Bear in mind that these domestic and domesticated animals exist purely to meet human demands. Should those demands cease, there will be no little lambs skipping through sunlit meadows; simply, no more lambs will be born, because they have no economic value.   

       On the plus side, all the cats will die. Cats cannot live on a vegetarian diet - they are pure carnivores and lack the metabolic pathways to synthesize some critical proteins which they can only get from meat. Dogs, like humans, are omnivorous and much more adaptable.   

       <Ponders merits of supporting campaign for compulsory veganism/>
8th of 7, Nov 05 2019

       I don't know how you even milk an almond. It sounds difficult.
RayfordSteele, Nov 05 2019

       //a poor beautiful cow standing in a stall all day// That's an issue with welfare standards rather than milk per se. In the UK, as far as I know, most milk production is from cows on pasture. In the US, I think they're mostly caged, which is bad for the cows and the milk.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2019

       Minimal research indicates that most fresh milk on sale in the U.S. is also pasturized ...
8th of 7, Nov 05 2019

       I was HOPING that "caged cows" was a mis-interpretation, but it seems some farmers really are that stupid. At the other end of the scale, there are automated "field" milking machines; the cow can just wander up when she feels like it and get emptied.
neutrinos_shadow, Nov 05 2019

       //most fresh milk on sale in the U.S. is also pasturized// Interesting. In the UK, all milk on sale in shops is Pasteurized, but then we've always been more comfortable with those French words.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2019

       Ha, RayfordSteele, it's easy, you jump up and down on them almonds as hard as you can, then you go and lick up what's left. Really, you go try and see if it works.
blissmiss, Nov 05 2019

       Crushed nuts ? Ouch ...
8th of 7, Nov 05 2019


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