Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Musical Zipper

play a lovely tune while zipping
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Zippers are boring, always making the same zippy sound. The musical zipper has teeth of different sizes along the zipper. These differently sized teeth make different sounds when they mesh, so when you zip up, a tune is produced.

(thanks to hippo’s “irregular fastener spacing” for inspiration)

pluterday, Jan 11 2003

Multi-pitch zipper http://www.delocorp.net/page16.html
Louis beat ya' [ferrous, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       And make sure you don't get caught up in your music.   

       blaise, I think so long as the teeth on either size of the zipper were matches and the frog suitably shaped there would be no problem in size variance. I like the idea anyway.
ry4an, Jan 12 2003
  

       It could also be designed to produce a word or phrase, like "Nike" or "Reebok", in a vague, surreal way. It would play properly only in one direction, though.
Amos Kito, Jan 12 2003
  

       Irregular is antipathetic to smooth and sometimes intentionally.
ferrous, Jan 12 2003
  

       In my own personal zipper-based research, I have determined that it is not only the teeth spacing, but also the zip speed that determine the pitch. It would therefore be necessary to maintain constant zip velocity to obtain a satisfactory musical zip performance. In lab test using experimental Levi's and highly trained rabbits, I have found this difficult to obtain on a consistent basis, however, if a self-regulating zipper action could be produced, the desired tonal effect could be achieved. Hence the croissant.
Cedar Park, Jan 12 2003
  

       I've never noticed a zipper being terribly melodic. It seems unlikely that much of a tune could be produced mechanically.   

       However, electronically, it seems quite feasible that if the teeth were conductive, each additional set that connected or disconnected could trigger an electronic tone or sound.   

       In this manner, a tune could be generated easily. Each set of teeth could also trigger the playback of a segment of a recorded sound e.g. the aforementioned "Nike".
half, Jan 12 2003
  

       I'd prefer one that sounds when the zipper is down.
FloridaManatee, Jan 12 2003
  

       I once performed 'Beverly Hills Cop' using my coat zipper as a part of a 'stupid human tricks' night during college. True story.
RayfordSteele, Jan 12 2003
  

       Unfortunately there would be a certain segment of the population who would never be able to undo their zips again for fear of the diabolical messages contained in the reversed music.
egbert, Jan 13 2003
  

       Would it play, "Pop Goes The Weasel" if you trap your old fella?
friendlyfire, Jan 13 2003
  

       There are many excellent suggestions here. Thank you.   

       Like making the sounds electronically, rather than mechanically. That would avoid a lot of design work on the teeth.   

       The sound mechanism could be built into the zipper pull. For kids, it could say “going up!”. And then “going down!” And if you only got it partially closed, it could tell you that in some cute manner.   

       For men, on the other hand, it could say “pop goes the weasel” on the way down, and “the weasel is dead” on the way up.   

       For me, I like the sparkly sound that windows makes when it opens and closes...
pluterday, Jan 14 2003
  

       /For me, I like the sparkly sound that windows makes when it opens and closes//   

       Where do you want to go today?
egbert, Jan 14 2003
  

       It would 'enhance' the moment if the tune was something like 'Lets get it on' by Marvin Gaye.
Jinbish, Jan 14 2003
  

       Use any song but(its a small world after all).
jerry4703, Jan 14 2003
  

       "Get up, Stand up" by Bob Marley.
friendlyfire, Jan 20 2003
  

       Sign me up for a James Brown version
"Get up (get on up)" on the way up, and "AAIIIOOOWWW Sex Machine" on the way down.
reap, Jan 20 2003
  

       Thompson Twins.. You take me up..soooo high...higher love,you take me up....<never could sing>
skinflaps, Jan 20 2003
  

       [pluterday] Thanks for the advertisement!
ldischler, Mar 31 2003
  

       This needs a small mallet attached to the zipper handle and a small xylophone embedded into the fabric along the length of the zipper.
JesusHChrist, Apr 05 2005
  
      
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