Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Son of Whistle Britches

What To Do With Obsolete Phonograph Technology
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The piezo-electric phonograph needle and subsequent amplification, by sonic or electrical means, is essentially a thing of the past. But it is a fairly simple and robust system, not much changed since Edison developed it.

Why not sew linear audio tracks into the sleeves of jackets, for example. On your left sleeve would be James Brown singing, "I Feel Good", just that phrase, might be all that would fit. You would play the phrase by straightening your left arm while holding the cuff in your hand, then sliding a simple piezo-electric needle/plastic speaker device embedded in your right cuff, along the length of the track in your left sleeve. Out comes a somewhat tinny, warbled but audible, "I Feel Good!", excerpt from the James Brown song. He would get a cut of the jacket price, of course.

What a great thing for juveniles to have, to wear to school and be obnoxious with. Any number of song sampling you could sew into these tracks. Maybe several tracks on a sleeve. Scale it up a little and you could include a small battery-powered amplifier/needle unit, hand-held or again, sewed into the other cuff. Give away free jackets with tracks that promote a product: "Coke is it!", or, "Add Bardahl", or, "Got Milk?".

Corduroy pants are also known as 'whistle britches'. Kind of the same idea.

entremanure, Nov 28 2001

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       Phonograph technology is not a thing of the past. I myself enjoy it on an almost daily basis. But it doesn't need to be a thing of the past for your invention to work. It just needs to have a justifiable purpose, which I don't see here...
snarfyguy, Nov 28 2001
  

       [snarfyguy] Since when is 'justifiable' a prerequisite for a HalfBaked idea <SubliminalGuy> (Fatal Auto Collision Song) </SubliminalGuy>?   

       What this does mean, however, is that we'll have to check our jackets at the airport.
phoenix, Nov 28 2001
  

       *Swallowing a laugh* Whistlebritches! Do not be deterred, forsake the naysayers and forge on, ¯entremanure, for the path to halfbaked enlightenment is littered with the detritus of piezo-electric applications. Actually, references to piezo-electricity turn up frequently, and I wouldn't be surprised that when ammonia is manufactured at room temperature, the process will involve piezo-electric elements salvaged from old turntable cartridges found sittin on the dock of the bay.
reensure, Nov 28 2001
  

       Easily a croissant just for the name. The idea is also quirky and original. I used a slightly more modern form of noisemaking in conjunction with my Halloween costume.   

       I dressed up as Charlie Brown The Ghost (or Rock) from "It's the Great Pumpkin, CB" by cutting many holes in a sheet and putting it over myself. Just in case the people at work didn't know who I was portraying, I carried a handheld tape recorder/player around in my pocket and cued up "Linus and Lucy" (The Peanuts Theme) which played while I floated around.   

       My uncle used to have "musical pants," but Mom didn't let me hang around with him too much.
zaphod12, Nov 29 2001
  

       Wouldn't need the electricity, actually. There used to be plastic strips with ridges on them, which when dragged across a thumbnail, made poorly reproduced but recognizable sound.
StarChaser, Nov 29 2001
  
      
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