Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."

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Schrödinger penalty shootout

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Penalty shoot outs are always a gamble, I agree.But are they really random enough ? For me, a quantum sized football would add an extra bit of excitement to an otherwise thrilling event.
lubbit, Jul 06 2001


       How would you know whether you'd scored?
(later) If the ball is a quantum particle, and the goal represents a grating, couldn't you both score *and* miss with the same shot?
angel, Jul 06 2001

       I kind of recall (it's a bit fuzzy) that you could know where the particle started and finshed but had no idea how it got there - i.e. which slit the photon passed through (if either/any). So you could tell if a goal had been scored/saved but the kicking/saving bit would be rather confused.
lubbit, Jul 06 2001, last modified Jul 07 2001

lubbit, Jul 06 2001

       Inexactly, surely? (Or unsurely. Or not. I'm confused. I think. Or...)
angel, Jul 06 2001

       My God, what have I wrought?
globaltourniquet, Jul 06 2001

       // My God... //   

       God does not play Shrodinger penalty shootouts.
lubbit, Jul 06 2001

       Not only does God definitely play penalty shootouts, but sometimes He confuses us by kicking the ball where it can't be seen...
globaltourniquet, Jul 06 2001

       If the ball suddenly appears in the net, how do you know it passed between the goalposts and the cross bar to get there?
Gordon Comstock, Jul 06 2001

       That's a forehead-slapper, there, Mephi. Bring tears to the eyes, don't it?
globaltourniquet, Jul 07 2001

       Would the person kicking the ball need a quantum-sized foot, and if so, how would it be attached to his ankle?
PotatoStew, Jul 07 2001

angel, Jul 07 2001

       Just institute real-number scoring (as opposed to whole numbers, not imaginary/complex) and you're set.
bookworm, Jul 07 2001

       I'd just like to say, it's about time someone else got a look in here. Why isn't it Heisenberg's Penalty shootout? What did Schrodinger do for experimental quantum physics(other than a couple of doozy thought experiments)?
Let's here it for Heisenberg, the real king of uncertainty. Or is he?
goff, Jul 09 2001

       Im not sure?! For the sake of my sanity bring back Newton... (wait.. I dont have any sanity...nevermind)
RobertKidney, Jul 09 2001

       If you're not thinking about the ball, does it really exist? Fishbone.
disbomber, Apr 06 2005

       A true Schrödinger penalty shootout would involve lowering a huge metal box over the field, obscuring the view from the crowd, and letting cats onto the pitch.   

       The penalties would be taken inside the box, but no-one would know who won the match until the box was lifted.   

       Further, during this time, BOTH teams would have simultaneously won, lost, drawn and possibly been rained off at the same time. This is the point where the crowd gets most excited.   

       Once enough time has passed to provide a good probability of a result one way to the other, the box is lifted and the team jumping up and down with the most excitement is deemed to have won.   

       This particular practice was ended in 1952 after 4 Barnsely FC and Accrington Stanley players were stretchered off after putting on such exaggerated displays of excitement that they died on the spot of heart and blood-pressure related complications.
zen_tom, Apr 06 2005


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