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"Time! Stocks!! Lasers!!!"

So cool, even George Lucas would say: "Aw, SNAP!"
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Hate wearing a watch? Hate the incessant Alfred Hitchcock-esque ticking of mechanical clocks? Then open your wallets and get out your wire crimpers for the FortCo Patented In-Home Laser-Projected Alpha-Numeric Variable-Input Update System! That's right! For a nominal, government-backed fee you too can check the time, your stock portfolio, current news headlines or even random integers to impress your friends or better your life!

Infrared sensors strategically located as to detect exactly which room you are in, complimented by small microphones to detect voice patterns and point-of-origin cater to your every informational request. Simply shout "TIME!" to have the current time displayed for a few brief moments on your pre-selected wall, ceiling, shower curtain of choice! Paired to respond to pre-programmed commands, small laser projectors cast requested information on whichever surface you prefer!

Having a hard time getting started in the mornings? Simply shout "TIME" when lying in bed and have the current time spat on to the ceiling. In the shower and care to know just how bad you're stocks are falling? Shout "STOCKS!" when in the shower and get a convenient, futuristic update of your portfolio!

Using RSS feeds, user-input data sources and a quartz-timed time estimator have all of your vital info, impress your pals and utterly baffle your cat. Remember: if you kinda need to know; choose FortCo!
Letsbuildafort, Jun 11 2010

[link]






       What happens if I shout "FIRE!"?
DrWorm, Jun 11 2010
  

       The visage of a Colt 1911 gets projected onto a wall. Of course, it's all user-defined.
Letsbuildafort, Jun 11 2010
  

       PORN!
bungston, Jun 11 2010
  

       Gotta love that jingle.   

       What on earth is a “stock portfolio”?
Ian Tindale, Jun 11 2010
  

       (financial instrument - e.g. a rare and valuable violin, which you bought as an investment)
hippo, Jun 11 2010
  

       Investment: priests’ underwear.
pocmloc, Jun 11 2010
  

       I would love to see a marketing war between FortCo, BungCo, and BorgCo sometime.
RayfordSteele, Jun 11 2010
  

       Don't compete - CONGLOMERATE!
Letsbuildafort, Jun 12 2010
  

       "CROISSANT"
kaz, Jun 12 2010
  

       [RayfordSteele]//marketing war// I don't think BorgCo could be trusted to limit it to a *marketing* war.
mouseposture, Jun 12 2010
  
      
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