h a l f b a k e r yMagical moments of mediocrity.
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The old 'arrow through the head' gag prop. |
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The surgeon says to you, sometime in the future, as she is digging around in your body, "I can see from the tri-diamond ring on your spleen that you were quite the partier once." |
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As long as you don't want to fly on an airplane.... |
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Fashionable stomach staples. |
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You could put a mesh of metal around all your abdominal organs, like reinforced concrete, and you would never need to do sit-ups again. They might need a pneumatic drill to do any surgery on you later though. This idea is not only dangerous, it's disgusting and pointless. Well, you first, mate. |
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Ah, Gawd, Unabubba, it is a universal truth: one's entire physique spreads and blurs with age...except one's teeth, I guess. Good thing us middle-aged chaps are so much wilier now than we were in our twenties--what we can no longer accomplish through sheer physical exuberance we can now accomplish by cleverness. |
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Or did I just disprove my own hypothesis, there? |
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Lots of wimmenfolk who've adorned themselves will be in Old Folks Homes some day - that should be a hoot |
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