Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Musical Urinal

Play songs while you are 'draining the lizard'
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I can't tell you how many times I've had a hankering to play songs while I go (no really, I can't) but I was thinking that a water-proof (read urine-proof) keyboard could be placed in the base of a urinal. (Waiting for [Rods Tiger] and [UnaBubba] to give obscure links to water-proofed keyboards.) This way, one could play simple little songs like 'Mary had a little Lamb' or 'Row Row Row your Boat' and such while emptying a bladder or two. For more complex pieces like 'Heart and Soul' or 'Chopsticks', there could be a comunal urinal that has a larger keyboard that two men could play on at the same time. This could promote comunity togetherness. There could be contests in bars to see who can play the most rounds of 'Row Row Row your Boat' or which team could play the most complex tune.
barnzenen, Oct 31 2001

(?) Theremin http://www.ccsi.com...remin.html#THEREMIN
[stupop, Oct 31 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Baked - almost http://web.media.mi...3/urinecontrol.html
Coming to a pub near you soon? [whimsickle, Oct 04 2004]

A urine-al musical http://www.american...om/broadway/mil.htm
[beauxeault, Oct 04 2004]


       Neat idea. It would be good if you could alter the note simply by moving your stream closer to or further away from the rim, kind of like an inverted theremin.
stupop, Oct 31 2001

       It's this kind of idea which makes me wish I was a boy.
salachair, Nov 01 2001

       [salachair], there are alternatives...
barnzenen, Nov 01 2001

       I have once seen the guts of a music box without a spring motor but instead a crank you have to turn manually at an even speed. I cranked one and it doesn't take that much force to crank. Combine this with a Urinal Turbine and you could hear a song while micturating. The harder you strain, the faster the music plays.
Amishman35, May 16 2002

       I can remember that on a recent holiday in France, they piped music through a public toilet block. Halfbaked. Maybe if you could perform the music instead, then that would be baked.
smokeyjohnson, Aug 19 2002

       I first thought that you might have one of those music box type things - you know where you turn the little handle - with a 'water wheel' in the base of the urinal, so that as the water flows, the wheel turns and plays the music   

       Oops... just saw Amish's anno
NickTheGreat, Aug 20 2002

       Rather than a keyboard, how about a grid of waterproof infra-red beam-break sensors ? When the jet breaks the beam, a note is sounded. Link the output to the control solenoids of a pipe organ ....   

       "You were in there a long time"   

       "Just playing with the Organ, dear.... "   

       I just have to give this a croissant because it's practical, but utterly pointless. Because one can never play the instrument in public .....
8th of 7, Aug 20 2002

       It would take amazing control (and several beers) to play anything but scales.
drdan, Aug 21 2002

       I've seen 8th's idea in the form of 'air harps' displayed in science museums.   

       It should make a sound like that bloopy noise at the beginning of "Rikki Don't Lose That Number."
waugsqueke, Aug 21 2002

       Jean Michel Jarre had a similar laser/air harp on his megamongous concerts. This would have been much more entertaining, and probably more musical, but probably censored. I'll just get back in that knife drawer.
PeterSilly, Nov 13 2002

       This is no joke! about 7 years ago I was involved with an entrepenuer who showed me patent application for a potty training toilet seat that played musical sounds when the toddler made poopy noises.
aredant, May 09 2003

       "I'm just off to tinkle on the ivories..."
friendlyfire, May 09 2003

       OMG! this has got to be the greatest idea ever! only, being a really picky musician, there'd have to be some way to do chords without having 3 guys standing at a urinal. thatsd be funny tho....
Seafris, Dec 30 2003

       Dang, I was going to post this very thing, under the title of 'Go-Re-Mi.'
RayfordSteele, Jun 05 2005


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