Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I am merely the vessel which channels the spirit of morrison_rm

For no particular reason, I'm numbering my comments.

1 = What I usually say

2 = Something from Snowcrash

3 = An avocado, are you sure?

4 = What the Borg usually says

5 = What Buchanan's third under-footman sold me the negatives of...say no more, nods as good as a wink..

[Jan 29 2011, last modified Sep 16 2016]

(+4) 3D posting
 50 Shades of Halfbakery
(+1) A fridge you can boot from
(+4) A Game of Therms
(+2, -1) A method to avoid mass extinction events via giant ostriches
(+1) A summer holiday everyday
(+4) Actual chameleon suit
(+3, -2) Actual Police Corruption app
(+1) Adjustable paper books
(+2) Airships of the not falling out of the skies variety
(+3, -1) Amputations Airlines
 Anatomically correct dolls for robots
 Ancient Greeks bothering for more military jargon
(+4) Animal mobile phone relaying
(+6) anti-drowning blowouts
(+4) Anti-mosquito centaur costume, with optional piglets and fake chaff piglets.
 Anti self-eyegouging glasses
(+9)(+9) Aquatic drone delivery of pizza via existing....network
(+2) Arch'O' Data
(+19)(+19) Arctic explorer pantomime horse costumes
(+4) Astronomical song
(+2) Astronomy photography disclaimers
 Authentication for spam
(+3) Autistic Licence
(+1) Auto-adjusting rifling to counter-act the Coriolis effect, wind velocity and so on
(+1) Auto-Heimlich Maneuver kit
(+1) Auto-orientation climbing gear, with bees
(+4) AV voting or FPTMG?
(+4) Aviator suits for mosquitoes
(+3) b-o-r-g bait
 Babar Berber Barbershop
(+6, -3) Bacon airliner
(+2, -1) Bagpipes that only dogs can hear
(+1) balancing trains for extra capacity
(+2) Being diabolical in space
(+2) Bhutanese prayer-wheel encryption
(+7, -1) Big Buddy
(+2) Biggs Hoson detector
(-1) Biological AI, for chickenfeed
(+2, -1) Blabberfingers email pedantry
 Blighting the Holmes meme yet again
(+6) Borg Theology
(+2) Boring business conference/cooking demo
(+5) Bowler Hat and proper brolly Day..Patrick Macnee RIP
 Britain medical aid in west Africa, with side benefit
(+3) British Orrery
(+1, -2) Bruxism power et al
 BYO Avgas
(+1, -2) Car green power for cremation
 Carbon footprint Jenga
 Cats in Space
 Centrifugal enrichment scheme
(-1) Cetacean lebensraum
(+5) Chaff for mice
(+4) Charging advertisers for using your bandwidth
(+3, -1) cheese with lots of hydrogen or helium in it
 Chicken and egg producing time machine
(+4) Chieftain II MBT
 Chihuahua ballistic armour
(+1) Chihuahua poo powered space plane
(+1) Chiropracter for exoskeletons
(+1) Choco-krete Battleship
 CIA releases gazillion old files on the net
(+5, -6) Clandestine Uranium enrichment scheme
(+4) (Coat of) arms control by heraldic safety measures
(+5) Coin operated space probes
(+7) Combined heat and power nethergarments
(+5, -1) Combined zoo and train station
(+5) Comedy necromancer
 Commercial Biodiversity Arks
(+5, -1) Compressed hydrogen anti-mosquito trousers
(-1) Connoisseurs in a Combat Zone
 Conquistadors 2014
(+7, -1) Continental plate reverse gear
(-2) Contra-rotating gatling aircraft guns for Green-er warfare
 Contra-rotating planet
(-1) Copyrighting the name "Wheland"
 Cowpox alleviation, quid pro quo
(+2) Crime prevention patio, with holes in it
(+1) crypto joking
(+4, -1) Cuddly borg
 Current Crimean "holiday"
 Curt Kobane reports
(+1) Cut-rate neutrino detectors in beer cans
(+4, -1) Cuter bio-weapons
(+6) Dark bun detector
(+1) Deflatable cheese (with inflatable option)
(+3) Device to counter east to west European invasions
(+3, -1) Digital paper boys
 Dirigible toupee cannon
 Divine opinion researching
(+2, -1) divorce court coffee shop
(-2) DNA patent blocking by prior art
(+4) Dog stilts for more than one dog walkies
(+1) Domesticated animal adjustment horror story
(+5) Doodle bug clay pigeons
(+5) dot matrix skywriting for airliners
(+6) Double-backed envelopes
(+3, -2) driving license for a car, like an ordinary license, but made out of cheese instead of plastic (the license, not the car*).
(+1) Drunk out of someone else's mind
(+2, -1) Dud ammunition for isis
(+1) Duff newspapers capillary action power
(+4) Duty free's for fighter pilots
(+3, -6) easy way to work out circle area
(+3, -1) easyAirsupport
(+1) Eboater
(+3) Eco fag butt compressing
 Educational establishment power generation
(+5, -2) Efficient collection of zero point energy
(+3) Ejector seat for drones
(+4, -1) Electric nose cheese filter
(+4) Elephantine Tube surfing zoo
(+1) Empirical testing of Russia
(+2, -1) EnDhowment fund
(+9, -1)(+9, -1) Energy saving Daleks
 engine pings/flight plans database
(+2, -1) Enogma
 Excluding the Elder gods from Google opt-out
(+2, -1) exo-spellchecker
(+6) Extensible eyes for humans
(+2, -1) Extra extra lethal bomb, with cute kittens
(+7) Fake animal costumes for animals
(+3, -1) fake astronomical objects as an aid to navigation
(+2) Fake book covers to give the illusion of risque reading
(+6) Fake mock lawn sprinkler
(+2, -4) False arms for the short-sighted
(+2, -1) False nudity by projection
(+4, -1) Fan with pattern recognition
(+1, -11)(+1, -11) Fishbone botnet
(+2, -1) Floating UK
(+5) Foil-lined underpants
(+2, -3) Fold out beds for Ecuadorian Embassies around the world
(-2) Franchising Aberdeen Proving Grounds
 Fresnel-ish lens-ish and Brownian Motion perpetual motion thingy
(+1) Fugue state alarm chicken
(+4, -1) Full Holmesian paranoia
(+6, -1) GCHQ points card
 GCHQ should help the French, for money
 Giraffe-Suit-O-Death euthanasia option
(+2) Google Arks
 Google Glass pavement priority lane
(+1) Google glass pre-breakfast app
 Google Wallet View
(+3, -1) Gorgon zola
(+5) graph paper porno
(+2) Groinally-affixed remote controlled arm and mirror(s)
(+1) "Guess that stream" for salmon
(+1) Hamster wheel powered gatling gun
 HB burial
(+1) HB delegation/franchise my posts
(+6) HB explanatory card
(+2) head teaching science classes
(+4, -1) Heat sinks to cool Venus
(+1) Hidden memory-metal beams for Pisa tower
(+4) Hiding the bad data by tobacco firms
(+4, -1) Himalayan Conveyor belt
(+1, -2) His Dark Archers
(+3, -1) Hollow Halfbakery
(+2) Homing Pigeon Post ver 1.1
(+3, -1) Hubris-O-Vision
(+2) Huge fan assisted pedestrians
(+2) Human/machine readable memory
 Humorous history manipulation kit
(+5) Humorous sucessor dominant species
 hydrogen balloon Davy lamp partition
(+2) i-Ching(ford)
(+2) I(heart)GCHQ t-shirt
(+6, -1) I said that years ago mouth/jaw attachment
 Identity parade reunions
(+2) iLiad
(+1) Implantable gyroscopes
(+3) Increased social mobility by middle-naming
(+8, -1) Incriminating objects rapid deployment kit
(+4) Indoor Moby Dick set
(+8)(+8) Inflatable burka
 International date line best before quandry
(+1) Internet wall of death
(+4) Inverse (species-wise) superheroes
(+6) iOuija-board software
(+5, -2) IQ-Capcha
(+2) iron filing flywheel
(-1) IronPerson
(+4) Islands with holes in them
 Islets of Langerhan cruises
(+5) ISO animal noises
 ISO for fiction
(+2, -1) Jauntier tunes for fertility clinics
 Jet engines for homes in tornado zones
 Jim Crore law for immigrants
(+2, -1) John Noakes missing!!!
 Jurassic Croissant
(+8)(+8) Khrushchev-esque shoe-related mechanical clock
(+2, -1) kids names as birthday reminders
(+2) Kids science/tech stories
(+8, -2) Kirk-free Star Trek remake
(+2, -1) Landia
(+9)(+9) Large Halibut Collider
(+5) (lawn) chair General
 Leopard-skin printed animals
(+2, -1) Leprechaun Gold powered generator
(+3, -2) Leveraging food labelling to boost tourism, with British values*
(+6) LHC circle dancing
(-5)(-5) LHC scam
 LHC scrabble
(+2) Life in 3D
(+4) Lighter than air banknotes
 Liminal computer virus
(+3) Limited use, but vaguely possible human flights booster
 little medical bracelets for animals
(+3) Little men witness protection service
 London Nose
(+1) Longevity treatment for monkeys (with typewriters)
 Luggage with sails
(+1) Lying through someone else's teeth
 Lytro camera famous person stalking
 Magnetic bottles
(+4) Magnetic cats
(+1) magnetic helmets powered train
(+3, -1) Mars diamonds prize
 Matched pair of crystal balls 3D glasses
(+2) Matterhorn Grand Piano factory
(+1) Metallic hydrogen hide and seek
 Metric English
(+1) Mexico as new EU member
 Mexico gravity wave
(+6, -3) Microtome escape kit
 Microwaveable b**p***s
(+3) Mineral oil sommelier
(+3) mini-project orion firework wossername
(+4) Misleading photos of royalty on currency
(+3, -4) mobile phones, queues and good manners
(+1) Mock feet cleaning
(+6) Mock Rhino exoskeleton suit
(+2) Mock-Tudor polar bears
 Model Prisoner Jail
(+4) Modern psychopathy
(+5) Monkeys as method of human birth control
 Monkeys in solution
 moon tethered large 2D plastic pine trees
(+2) More Christmasy warfare
(+2, -1) More extensive use of punctuation instead of spelling
(-1) More imaginative heat exchangers
(+2) More or less hard-wired server
(+1) More QR code madness and/or remote cursing (elder gods workload permitting)
(+6, -2) More realistic naming of military stuff
 More symmetrical businesses
(+1) Mouse phalanx trampolines
(+2, -1) Moving suns for prank purposes
 Mozzie eating cockroach or vice versa
(+1) Name that Atom game show, via pin-boards
(+3, -1) Nasal ATM
(+1) National Grid requests
(+3) Never lose anything facility
(+2) Next Dr Who should be a dalek
(+10)(+10) Noir google glass
 non-blather tv programs
 Not nekkid glasses
 Nu-Alexandrian Library
(+2) Nuevo Centralia, skinny new country
(+3) Off-road trains
(+1) Ok, who broke the server (2014)?
(+1) Old Bond
(+1) Old joke rehabilitation scheme
 One man bagpipe orchestra
(+1, -5) online dating that actually works, with truth-o-meter
(+3) Optical splitter glasses for Cyclops
(+1) Orbital washing line
 Owning five impossible things before breakfast
(+8)(+8) Pagoda sheds
(+1) Paleontological outdoors activity
(+4) Pantographic smartphone shoes
(+1) Parallel universes IP trading
 Part-arson of the seat of government
(+3) Pavement "flight plans" and past data
(+1) pavement-u-coaster
(+3, -4) Pay per not view current politician, good for 4 years
(+4, -2) pay-per-word-trolling
(-1) Pearl Harbour ver 1.1
 Pen for people who have no sense of humour, or for speakers of other languages
(+18)(+18) Periodic table darts
(+2) Personal daylight saving hours
(+3, -1) Personal mini-great circling
 Personalised tax rebate/welfare statements
(+5, -1) photography reworking to avoid verbosity
(+1) piezo-electric plank
(+2) Pinball wind turbine
(+7) Pirates of the Laboratory
(+4) plant bothering via modifying the spectrum of the sun
(+2, -3) plumbing by magnetism
(+2, -1) Pointing bone app
(-1) Pokemon-Go Invasion
 Polar office for reduced working hours
(+4) Pole switch map stickers
(+4) Politicians with one more talent
(+2, -1) portable segway mountain of doom
(+1, -3) Post with musical accompaniment option
(+8)(+8) Postal events for the Olympics
(+7) Postal fees by banality
(+2, -1) pre-girded loins
 Premium rate number intellectual property
(+7) Printer that actually uses crayons
(+3, -1) Programming under adverse keyboard conditions
(+1) Prometeaus
(+2) Proper Crimean referendum for all living there
 Proper distribution of WMD's viz Scotland independence
(+3, -1) Proper space Spitfire
(+15)(+15) Pubs with telescopes outside
(+5) Pugning contest
(+1) Putting firefighting on a more commercial basis
(+3) QR codes t-shirt
(-1) Quite extreme horizontal transmission of DNA
(+1) Randomised grandparents for time travellers
(+3) Rapid cheese prototyper
 Raptor warcry + easy listening
(+2) Real time postural information system
(+1) realtime tracking of salaries in Greece
(+2) Recent 3 noughts and crosses
(+1) recharging a mobile device by fags
(+1) Recursive, geared-down, chopsticks
 Recursive hydrogen bag storage, part 2
(+1) Refrigerator Airworthiness updates
(-1) Relics snowglobes
(-1) Religious snow globe
(+5) religious toaster
(+19)(+19) Remote murder by 3D printer
(+1, -2) Reversible lightning
(+5) Reversing mirrors for submarines
 Rob Ford as cure for drugs industry
 Robot kabbadi
(+14)(+14) Robotic voices perv line
(+1) Rodeo Clowns for the Police
(+3, -1) Sacrificial stepped pyramids for boats
(+1) Saharan restaurant
(+3, -4) Satellite Repair Ladder
(+6) Saving data in stripes
(+3, -1) Say "No" to blacksmiths in space
 Sea level rising, blame Hydronium
 Seed Running Serviceberry Discount
(+2, -5) Seeing Native Americans as a monolithic entity
 Self-bunners self help group
(+3) Self extinguishing candle 0
(+12)(+12) Self-illuminating fake laser-dot head stickers
(+3) Self-propelled popcorn stand
(+2) self-tapping mobile phone
(+4) Sherlock Holmes's South/Central American stories
 Single transferable bun and proxy bunning
(+3) Sino-European trade in the old days
(+13, -1)(+13, -1) Skydiving for hamsters (mock)
(+3) Slaw
(+3) Slide-rule trombone for astronauts
(+5) sliding puzzle housing
(-1) smart custard
(+3) Smart snowglobes with guns in them
(+1) Smartphone Coin Identifier app
(+4) Smartphone semaphore
(+4) Solar powered bagpipes
 Somebody plugging landscaping gear
(+1) Space Mimes (ISO)
(+1) Special waldo gloves for after Brexit going back to £ s d
(+1) Speech de-recognition to filter out blather
(-2) Speed-e-printer
 Standing Wave Bead Chainmail
(+1, -2) Statute of limitation escape holidays
(+5) Stealth lipo-fracking via the Body Fat Fairy
(+12, -1)(+12, -1) Sterling engine to recharge my mobile phone
(+11)(+11) Stories, with updated Health and Safety
(+2, -1) Subterfuge
(-3) suicide prevention spirit balance hat
(+5) Surgeons get to play at Frankenstein
(+1) Sword of Damocles Surgical unit
(+19)(+19) Table football but with sausages
(+1) Tesla valve parachute
(+1) Testicular bagpipe implants
(+7) Testing Parallel universes
(+1) That Oort to do it.
(+1, -2) The Great Wall of Downsizing
(+10, -5) The Hindenburg, but in space
(+2) The Mekon Delta
(+1) The Plane of the Eclectic
 The procrustean shoehorn
 The Text Alignment Song CD (tm)
(+4) The true story of the Battle of Singapore
(+4) The use of drones, for the purposes of being excommunicated.
(+4, -2) Theogermal energy
(+2) three-field system Politics
(+8)(+8) tiger striped hosiery, almost transparent
 Tinfoil hat marketing by acoustic resonance
(+1) tinfoil hat with extra difficulty of findyness
 Tokyo meetup
(+2) Toothboard for computer tablets/other teeny devices
(+3) Torque Torque
(+2) Transferring debt to those beyond the grave
 transporting self long range via glider with balloon
(+8, -1) Trial by mime
(-1) Triangle trade monument
(+5, -1) Trousers based upon the recirculating washroom towel principle
(+1) Tube/Subway swimming carriage
 Turing abadan nuclear plants into ighthouses
(+1, -4) UK-France rapproachment
(+3) Um Bongo smuggling
(+3, -1) underwater drone testing
(+5) Variable length spoon
(+7) Variable weight cashpoint cards
(+4) Very large bird-repelling shaped wind turbine
(+5) Very large coathangers as a defensive barrier
(+3) Very large titanium thumb
(+2) Water lily surface coating for the fridge glass door
 Waterside Tube
 Whale-scented candles
(+4) "What's my future megadeath score?" badge
 Wifi cameras (pointing outwards) on trains
(+18)(+18) Wireless energy transmission, via b**** p****r
(+4) Yeti Vulcan bomber three trampolines trick satellite launcher
(+4) Your own Vulcan bomber

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