Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Yeah, I wish it made more sense too.

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8th of 7

Pallid, tubby, balding, middle aged technology-fixated Trekkie geek and wannabe Borg. Murky past. Even murkier future. Dangerous "hobbies" are explosives, pyrotechnics, fireworks, projectile weapons and aviation (often in combination).

Used to work on wierd and wacky high-tech projects using leading-edge technology, more for the buzz and the geek status points than for the actual money.

Amazingly, still not dead, despite people trying really really hard ....

Designated "8th of 7" by cow-orkers because of a severe, virulent technology addiction. When the Borg do arrive on planet Earth, will be banging on the door wanting in. Expected response: "No, go away - you're too wierd. Here's a pound for a cup of tea, now go and bother someone else".

Has recently realised (too late) that he is turning into Wally (from the Dilbert strips)

Hates children, horses, children, cats, children, cats, children and ex-wife (no children). Loves vehicles, projectile weapons, beer, chocolate, watching bad things happen to small noisy children, tot-thumping, small hairy dog and girlfriend (not necessarily in that order).

Favourite quote/saying: "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning...."

Heroes: Field Marshal Montgomery, Sam Vimes.

Email: eighthofseven_"AT"_yahoo.co.uk

HBGC e+ p+ s+ g+ B++ A++ n+ G r++ E++ C V+ a I+ t+ Z X-- T+ D

[Jun 11 2002, last modified Dec 05 2008]

   
(+6) 19" Rack mounting drinks cooler.
(+13, -2)(+13, -2) A Case Of Diahorrea
(+12)(+12) Activity related voicemail
(+8, -1) ADSL civil defence alert box and app
(+5, -6) Alien Abduction Verification Bureau
 Animal trials
(+4, -2) Armchair Tank
(+11, -5) Artificial Walnut
(+19, -1)(+19, -1) Artillery Golf
(+9)(+9) Author experience service
(+5, -2) Automatic airbag trigger transponder
(+4, -2) Automatic Food Irradiation Fridge
(+11)(+11) Autorhinoscope
(+16)(+16) Baboon's Bum Bicycling Briefs
(+5) Baking with the boys
(+1) Bath/shower plughole waste disposal
(+12, -5) Be A Registered Trespasser
 Big Brother Lamp Post
(+12)(+12) Bluetooth earpiece with remote-controlled scratching brush
(+8) Bluetooth private chat network
(+12, -4) Boss pedal
(+9)(+9) Bouncy Hadrian's Wall
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Bread-and-butterknife
(+13, -1)(+13, -1) Bread Pen
(+9, -1) Bridge-o-scope
(+13, -6) Burger with a hole
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Bus-mounted mailbox
(+5) Bus Passenger Rear View Mirrors
(+24)(+24)(+24) Bus Stop Sundial
(+4) Calling Interoffice Rescue
(+2, -3) Canned food microwave
(+1, -2) Car-cooler ramscoop
(+1, -3) Car flotation airbag system
(+4) Car seat deckchair
(+10, -4) Car signal halyards
(+6, -3) Car temperature pager alarm
(+6, -2) Car water bowl for dogs
(+27, -2)(+27, -2)(+27, -2) Cat Ejection Pack
(+6, -4) Caterpillarbox
(-1) Celebrity Aroma Candles
(+4, -1) Cellphone flashlight
(+4, -3) Centrifugal fishtank
(+3) Chapel of Restaurant
(+12, -3)(+12, -3) Checkout Queue Bouncers
(+14, -1)(+14, -1) Chell Specker
 Chequebook Toilet Paper
(+3, -2) Chocabuse
(+2, -1) Christmas Crackers for dogs
 Clockwork Orange Clock
(+19, -1)(+19, -1) Cloud height coloured smoke rocket
(+1) Coffee fountain airbag
(+12)(+12) ColdMail
(+10)(+10) Coloured Coal
 Combat Kilt
 Combined ear defenders and goggles
(+13, -4)(+13, -4) Commonsense Action Movie
(+10, -7) Competetive Cat Skinning
(+9)(+9) Consistent-position two way switch
(+11, -3) Contact lens clock
(+4, -1) Copenhaagen-Dasz Ice Cream
(+3) Cosmetic elbowcaps
(+2, -3) Court Bar
(+1) Custard-filled child safe Bangalore Torpedo
(+11, -3) Cynics Anonymous
(+8, -3) Dalek road cones
 Darwin Appliances
 DensAir
(+5, -4) Disposable trolley tokens
(+2) DIY Lip Clamp
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Dog Alarm Clock
 Dogproof trousers with airbag
(+7, -4) Driver-dynamic license plate
(+3) Dual-control bedside light
(+3, -1) Dual level adaptable four poster guest bed.
(+2) Dual Purpose Accelerator Tunnel
(+5) DuoScooter
(+7, -1) Dupuytren's Contracture Prevention Gloves
(+1, -6)(+1, -6) Electric shock tennis ball
(+6, -1) Escher's Ketchup
(+13, -4)(+13, -4) Evil Genius Contracting Company
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Extreme Commuting by V-1 Replica
(+10)(+10) Fake dirty water dog bath
(+5, -1) Fashion bar
(+2, -1) Fellowship of the Ring walking holiday
(+10)(+10) FetchBot
(+31)(+31)(+31) Fitted carpet bombing
(+1, -2) Flame War Extinguisher
 Flat Cap Magnetic Cat Flap
(+6) Forced draught cooled cycling cape
 Freeze Dried Albatross Kite
(+10)(+10) Full Metal Jacket Potato
(+3, -5) Geek Court
(+3) Giant Garden Umbrella
(+6, -1) Giant Microlight
(+7, -3) Glove-box fridge
(+13)(+13) Glow-in-the-dark bathroom nuclear waste disposal
(+7, -3) Government Franchises
(-3) Gridlock road-rage riot control
(+4) GSM scrambler soft codec
(+1, -12)(+1, -12) Half life jackets
(-2) Half-timbered spectacles.
(+20)(+20) HalfBaker Emoticon
(+7, -12)(+7, -12) Halfbaker Gender Indication Icon (Optional)
(+3, -10)(+3, -10) HalfBaker "total score"
(+9, -3) Halfbakery Coat of Arms
(+3) HalfBakery Confessional
(+16)(+16) HalfBakery "If"
(+25)(+25)(+25) Halfbakery Standard Responses
 Happy Pils
(+4, -2) Help the Normal
(+2) Helter-Skelter roller-coaster automatic shoeshine
(+3) High frequency inductive trousers
(+5) High speed whole body automatic shower
(+3) Home Occupancy Simulation Software
(+3, -2) Home water pumps
(+13, -2)(+13, -2) Homeopathic peacekeeping force
(+9)(+9) Hot air balloon harpoon
(+12, -1)(+12, -1) Hot beverage district heating
(+4, -1) Hotel Paranoid's Paradiso
(+4, -3) Howling stop line
(+7, -1) Human-scale snakes and ladders.
(+4, -3) Hygenic tissue box
(+7) Ice Thickness Sensing Boots
(+5, -4) In-drive refuelling
(+2) Indecisive Menu
(+3, -2) Intentional H5N1 exposure
(+5) Internal Combustion olympics
(+11)(+11) Isomorphic soap
(+16, -2)(+16, -2) Kitchen crusher for glass bottles
 Klein Bottle Toilet Roll
(+2, -1) Koala Scuttle
(+10, -3) Laryngitis pills
(+4, -1) Laser power transfer locomotive
(+2) Laundry basket input scanner
 Lava flow nuclear waste disposal
(+6) Lava wells
(-6)(-6) LED-light effect filter
(+2, -3) Levites
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Liqueur Chocolate Bottle
(+1, -10)(+1, -10) Lottery with Violence
(+5, -1) Low-Cal sweetener in drinks machines
(+3, -1) Münchausen syndrome by proxy excuse service.
(+9, -1) Mandatory autonomous LED parking lights.
(+3, -1) Mandatory ink colour indicator for non-refillable pens
(+16, -2)(+16, -2) Manly air freshener
(+7, -8) Marked unPolice cars
(+15)(+15) Massive Inflatable Ego
 Memento Mori Motorcycle Helmet
 Mild Concern Clock
(+3, -1) Name Rationing
(+2) Newspeak spellchecker/dictionary for MSWord
(+8, -4) Night Vision For All
(+4) Nighttime bedframe guide strips
 Non-perjorative place name revisions
(+7, -2) Olympic Blindfold Shaving
(+8) One-Armed Band-Aid
(+1) One Way Headphones
(+14, -2)(+14, -2) Paper Jam
(+16, -3)(+16, -3) Paramedic skydiver
(+1) Passive - Aggressive Infra-Red Detector
(+1) Passive smoking dosimeter
(+7, -1) Pentacles
(+2, -3) Perfect temperature teasmade
(+6, -2) Personal barcode stamps
 Personalised computer game
(+8, -9) Pet Paper (Cat Paper)
(+4, -10)(+4, -10) Physics Appeal Court
(+3, -9)(+3, -9) Planetary species audit
(+9)(+9) Portable folding pyrotechnic hovercraft
(+8, -1) Post-It Cuff
(+2) Practice Pancake
(+3, -2) Pre-cremation vacuum dessicator
(+4, -2) Preregistrered press biography auction site
(+11)(+11) Printable paper burkha headpiece
(+7) Rain gauge alarm clock
(+7, -3) Rant Booth
(+3, -1) Real-World First Person Shooter LaserMaze game
(+4) Reciprocating-piston internal combustion combined lighting-heating-generator unit
(+4) Reconfigurable spelling teaching chart
(-2) Recursive Economic Migration Control
(+3, -6) Recycled Human Pet Food
(+3, -5) Refrigerator/microwave combo
(+1, -2) Relativity Code
(+4) Remote-controlled insecticide aerosol indoor spray array
(+4, -2) Remote door lock status indicator
(-3) Remote ringer
(+14, -3)(+14, -3) Rent-A -Dwarf
(+3, -2) RIT(F)W(A)
(-3) Roadsigns with travel times
(+7, -21)(+7, -21)(+7, -21) Sale of indulgences
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Scooter train
(+16, -1)(+16, -1) SeaSalt and Vinegar
 Seasonal solar lighting
(+1) Seat-back Aircraft Instrument relay
(+8) Self-Acting Fire Escape Dog Door
(+8, -1) Self-cleaning food processor
(+5, -1) Semi-toroidal centripetal aquarium
(+1) Shave counter
(+5, -2) Shopper's baseball cap with 2 way radio, quadrature direction finding antennae and head-up projection display.
(+8) Single-use reverse osmosis urine to water converter
(+5, -2) Smart Blood
(+7, -1) Smelling aid
(+5) SmellJet Printer
(-3) Smoke catcher
(+1) Sound-triggered window closer
(+18)(+18) Sphinx toilet paper holder
(+8) Squeaky hinge compound
(+31, -2)(+31, -2)(+31, -2) Standardised airline luggage
(+6) Standardised Disaster Alert Device
(+5) Stealth Lawnmower
 Sticky note calendar
(+5, -2) Stirling Engine Powered Composer
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Street lamp public power outlet.
(+10, -4) Study of Giant Squid by cloning
(+2) Supermarket Glasses
(+9)(+9) SurroundSound Anti-Mugging Jacket
 Surveying digital camera
(+6, -1) Synthesised speech ringtone
(+14)(+14) Tantalus Toilet Paper Dispenser
(-2) Technology Coroner
(+2) Telechiric Pimple Prodder
(+10, -2) The green Bun of the little yellow Troll
(+19, -1)(+19, -1) The Importance Of Being Erwin
(+8) The Slapper
 The Stalliscope
(+6, -1) The "Trollbusters" song
(-4) Time-lag satellite imaging
(+8, -4) Toilet roll printer
(+13, -3)(+13, -3) TrainTown
(+2) Troll Aid
(+7, -5) Trollfinder General
(+20)(+20) "Turn indicating" blue lights for emergency service vehicles
(+5, -3) Two storey bungalow
(+8, -5) UN - mandated weapons system preservation
(+17, -2)(+17, -2) Undead Home Protection Kit
(+11)(+11) Unloseable gloves
(+2) UNOWNA
(+11, -9) Venus Cat Trap
(+8, -5) Vertically stacked fake continents.
(+2, -3) Voicemail forwarding as .WAV
(+7, -2) Wheelie Coffin
(+6, -1) Windmill powered friction oven
 

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