Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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We miss you
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(+195, -1)
  [vote for,

I have very difficult news to report. I recently received a decidedly certain, if slightly indirect indication that bristolz has passed away.

A little over 3 years ago, she and I began corresponding via instant messenger. She was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer about 3 years ago. Beginning the day she was diagnosed, she stated that she had little chance of surviving the illness. On more than one occasion, she IM'ed me or e-mailed me to say that she was on her way to the hospital and probably wouldn't be coming back this time.

I once got up the nerve to ask her how I could know for sure if she was gone. She indicated that a family member might log in to the halfbakery and post a notice. Obviously, that hasn't happened and I don't think she ever actually arranged for that to happen. But, what did happen was that I, while not at my computer, received an IM (which I very much appreciated) from her account asking me if I had known her. The sender later stated that they were going through her accounts closing things and saw me on the contact list.

It was very difficult to post this without first receiving direct confirmation from her family. I and others have been trying to reach her family through the means we have available but have had no success. While her and her family's privacy are of the utmost importance, it didn't seem right for me to leave my fellow halfbakers to wonder what became of their friend. If I am mistaken in my assessment of the situation, she'll be so absolutely angry with me for publicly disclosing her illness that I will never hear from her again. Still, I'd like nothing more than to be wrong. If that is the case, she and her family have my most sincere and profound apologies. Either I or the site owner will amend or remove this notice immediately upon any request from her family.

As we've so enjoyed them and they've added so much to the presentation of our ideas, we would like to obtain permission to continue to use the illustrations that Bristol so graciously and skillfully created for our halfbakery postings. If you are a family member, or can reach a family member, please contact the owner of this website: bakesperson@halfbakery.com.

My deepest condolences go out to her family.


half, Jul 20 2006

(?) Bristolz http://bz.pair.com/fun/moi.html
[tcarson, Jul 20 2006]

The Many Moods Of Bristolz http://bz.pair.com/fun/moods.htm
[hidden truths, Jul 20 2006]

bristolz http://www.halfbakery.com/user/bristolz
as we knew her. [dbmag9, Jul 21 2006]

Her sanctuary (scroll down) http://bz.pair.com/
I just found this update. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. [Canuck, Aug 09 2006]

Briztolz quote Magnetic_20Helicopt...t-Lane_20Eliminator
[MoreCowbell, Aug 21 2006]

I think she is in the bakery.... Improved_20ghost_20hunting
[senatorjam, Sep 13 2006]

Bris talks of her husband Parking Swivel
[pashute, Jul 01 2010]

Bristolz homepage, via internet archive https://web.archive...p://bz.pair.com:80/
link due to expiry of the original [Loris, Jul 20 2017]

19 July 2006, Seattle cancer center receives $40 million https://www.fredhut.../2006/07/gates.html
[pashute, Aug 07 2022]


       God I hope you are mistaken.   

       We miss you, bristolz, even if you are refraining from logging on due to other reasons (I hope).
neelandan, Jul 20 2006

       Well, that sure is bad news, if it's true.
finrod, Jul 20 2006

       god bless you bris.
po, Jul 20 2006

       Call me crazy, but I have come to regard many of the people here as friends even though we have never met. In our little community we share our ideas, thoughts, and jokes, and in some cases, a remarkable talent, whether it be writing, drawing, or profound thought helps enlighten us. Bris has been one of those exceptional people.   

       I miss her often dry humour.   

       I miss her fabulous drawings.   

       But most of all, I miss my friend.
Canuck, Jul 20 2006

       Please let this be the worst idea on the halfbakery ever so I can bone the hell out of it.   

       If it is true...   

       Bristolz, I sincerely hope you have at last found your Halcyon Days. I will miss your presence and everything you were on the HB. Peace to you.   

       "Soft, blonde wood; an exposed beam ceiling; butter soft leather chairs; a woolen afghan blanket for my feet; walls lined with books; a large globe; a small, quiet refrigerator with an array of finger sandwiches and chunks of dark chocolate; a fresh ginger and Belvedere martini, stirred to the consistency of a frozen cloud; the smell and sight of the shore with the distant natterings of children and gulls at play in the waves; a brass telescope; the decadent meow of a middle-aged cat; jazz piano from the house next door and the spun yellow-gold of sunlight, blended with the ice of a blue sky, peering in through a cucoloris of coastal trees."
written by bris from Halcyon Days idea
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jul 20 2006

       Bristolz, you came before my time, but I remember that one of the first ideas I read was your birthday wishes from the bakery. It struck me that so many here sincerely wished you well.   

       I've seen many of your ideas, as well as comments left. I've seen your art, which I envy, and have been impressed by what I've heard others say about you.   

       Your legacy has had an impact on many of the bakers, and should remain intact in your memory.
tcarson, Jul 20 2006

       About a year ago she wrote most, who she had confided in, about her conditon. She simply asked for *our address*, and told us it was going to be passed on to her family for notification.   

       I was worried 2 months ago about her, and I left here, for that reason.   

       If this is true, half, you will be notified. And everyone else who was asked, after a very bad round of treatments, for their contact info.   

       She knew she'd get two here at our house, for the price of one stamp.   

       Though rich in spirit and mind, she would laugh at the thought she would save a stamp.   

       That much I do know about her. And that much I will always love about her.   

       (Her and waugs and bubba were probably the very best of friends ever here, when there was a here.)   

       I don't know how to tell waugs in the morning, but I have received three overseas calls in the last week. We both specualted the worse.   

       Bris, we have travelled far, and spoken a lot. ( Not many of our talks were only about habbisgrashery.)   

       (Watching Bris yank out her Websters and diving through the h's.) "That's not even a word Cathy."   

       It is now, baby girl.
blissmiss, Jul 20 2006

       Thanks for posting this, half - and thanks for having the spine to bring up the subject with bristolz herself, even if it didn't work out in the end.   

       I don't know anything more than this. We don't have a red moderator telephone or a bat signal or something. I see her pretty much the way you see her, drawings, a picture with a horse in the background, a voice in text. I really liked that voice.
jutta, Jul 20 2006

       I am sorry jutta.
blissmiss, Jul 20 2006

zeno, Jul 20 2006

       I want so much to hug jutta, half, waugs, bubba and jurist and all of those I know, who like me are feeling desperately miserable reading this...
po, Jul 20 2006

       Bless you bris, may angels guide the Hullaballoon.   

       Bris and bliss were the first people out of many to welcome me onto the long road of h'baking and I have such fond and lasting memories of those days.   

       This is truly sad for I shall miss you bris.   

skinflaps, Jul 20 2006

       I don't know what to say, that's so sad. I'll miss her wit, and I always envied her her skill with a pen. Here's hoping against hope that it's not true, but... I already feel like I've lost a friend. My most hearfelt condolences to her family, and to everyone here who knew her better than I.
moomintroll, Jul 20 2006

       Thank you, [half], for letting us know.   

       Though my account was not created a long time ago, I have been a silent witness of the ebbs and flows of this forum. Bristolz contributions to the halfbakery transcend it and have made it into my 'real' world. I'll miss you [Bris].
methinksnot, Jul 20 2006

       I can't say I really knew [Bris] as anything more than a name on this site. I'm not as deeply involved in the HB community as many others--but as a member of that community, it's still sad news to hear of the passing of a prominent member. My sympathy to everyone.   

       This bun's for you.
5th Earth, Jul 20 2006

       Bristolz was a fine illustrator and a clever innovator. It's a rare combination, but not only that her work was underpinned with a gentle humour, and a sense of fun that was hurtful to no one. Her lasting legacy remains on this site and in her own work. I'm relatively new here, and therefore barely qualified as such to say it, and make comment.   

       It's been a privilege to share such company. My sincere condolences to her friends and family. John
xenzag, Jul 20 2006

nineteenthly, Jul 20 2006

       for some unknown reason this morning I came to my computer as soon as I woke up (5 am) and clicked on the 'bakery. I came right to this posting as if drawn by something unknown. Sitting here in tears after reading this, all I can do is pray......for her and everyone....
xandram, Jul 20 2006

zen_tom, Jul 20 2006

       How terribly, terribly sad.
squeak, Jul 20 2006

DrBob, Jul 20 2006

       This is truly terrible news.   

       When putting together a halfbakery board game last year I had immense difficulty in using a balanced variety of illustrators because she had this endless collection of hilarious sketches that seemed to jump out at me shouting "Use me!". Her style will always be the one that I associate with the 'bakery. She was generous enough to let me use anything I wanted however I saw fit, but modest enough to really believe that she was just an amateur messing about. She wasn't.   

       Bris, wherever you are, I salute you.
wagster, Jul 20 2006

       I can only pray that this is all one great big mistake.   

       I haven't been here anywhere near as long as many others, but it was more than long enough to realise that Bris was scarily intelligent, hilariously funny, immensely creative and wonderfully self-effacing. If we are now without her, the world is a poorer place.
hidden truths, Jul 20 2006

xaviergisz, Jul 20 2006

       awful news - As moderators, I had a few conversations with Bris over the years, but never got to know her like others had.   

       This news has knocked me for 6. Bless you Bris for making this a brighter world.   

jonthegeologist, Jul 20 2006

calum, Jul 20 2006

fridge duck, Jul 20 2006

angel, Jul 20 2006

Shz, Jul 20 2006

       Look at the links, peeps. She was gorgeous, too.
squeak, Jul 20 2006

jhomrighaus, Jul 20 2006

       That's really sad. Miss you [Bris].
Jinbish, Jul 20 2006


       - Does anyone have anyway of corfirming this? God, I hope there's some kind of mistake.
Dub, Jul 20 2006

Worldgineer, Jul 20 2006

       My certainty about the situation remains unchanged, but in light of blissmiss' statement perhaps it was inappropriate or rash of me to post this. Had I known that anyone at all would be officially notified, you would not be reading this. To all concerned: I meant well. I would never knowingly do anything to disrespect bristolz' wishes in this matter. She knew that. For too many reasons to list, I hold her in the highest regard. She knew that too, even if she didn't like it (much).   

       A truly fascinating person. Multi-faceted does not begin to cover it. Super intelligent, wise well beyond her too-few years, accomplished in so many areas... She mentored me through some things, attempted to help with others (I'm beyond help when it comes to perspective drawing) and offered to help with yet others.   

       The breadth and depth of her knowledge and talents constantly amazed me. She was not the cheerleader sort, yet she inspired simply by being herself. I gained much through the little connection I had with her.   

       I don't think I ever told her this, but I did not really like her at first blush. Before seeing past it, I had pegged her as a know-it-all. Little did I realize that she did know it all and was actually quite restrained in offering up information and experience pertinent to our ideas. (Dang, was it hard coming up with trivia questions that could stump that girl!) Suffice it to say that I acquired a taste.   

       I think I got a good picture of the person behind the words on my computer screen. Only once in my life have I had the conscious thought, "I would really like to be friends with this individual". I regret that I never got to meet her in person. At the same time, I have great admiration for the man who has been capable of living with her 24/7. Obstinate and flighty little thing, she could be.   

       She could trade jibes with unholy abandon. I pretended that the long pauses were because I was doing something else while we were conversing. I couldn't even come close to keeping up with her. Those who are sharp-of-eye will catch some of the subtle shots she took at me in these pages. A wit the likes of which I'd never seen.   

       I could go on, but she'd hate that.   

       She made me laugh on countless days. She made me cry on that one day.
half, Jul 20 2006

DrCurry, Jul 20 2006

hazel, Jul 20 2006

7ennyn, Jul 20 2006

       Always remembered.
normzone, Jul 20 2006

       Looking through her illustrations today, i was impressed by her drawing talent and also her genius in including little details that meant they were more than just illustrations of people's ideas, and had a personal touch that was at the same time sort of self-effacing. Also, i felt quite humbled at the imagination and skill she showed in doing this. And it looks seriously as if all of that is now gone.
nineteenthly, Jul 20 2006

       Perhaps we can arrange some sort of simultaneous round-the-world halfb-baked memorial viking funeral for her?
DrCurry, Jul 20 2006

       Or perhaps ask that those unfamiliar with the "Hullabaloon", go and visit and vote. It really should be number 1, I think. (That is if panic pin wouldn't mind being number 2). Or would that be considered tampering? I see it more as an homage.
blissmiss, Jul 20 2006

       I agree with you [blissmiss]. To heck with tampering-make it a memorial to remember her by.
xandram, Jul 20 2006

       Hope this isn't true, but it sadly seems it might be. I think you did the right thing in posting this, [half] - you obviously did a lot of soul-searching over it, but she did touch a lot of lives in this place. Her wit, intelligence and creative generosity shone through in all her posts.   

       Felt like a kid at Christmas when she unexpectedly illustrated one of my ideas a while back - it was just what I'd imagined, only more so.
lostdog, Jul 20 2006

I only hope that a hullaballoon is waiting to carry you off to the croissant-shaped heavens.
phundug, Jul 20 2006

       Aw crap. Not bloody fair - I hope this is wrong.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 20 2006

       Farewell, humble 'baker. It is certainly true that the light which burns twice as bright burns half as long.
dbmag9, Jul 20 2006

       I suspected. Hoped against, but suspected. Fairwell, m'lady.
RayfordSteele, Jul 20 2006

       Go shining, sweet Bristolz. And profound condolences to her family and all who came to know her here.
csea, Jul 21 2006

daseva, Jul 21 2006

       Farewell, and may you be in a better place, dear Bristolz - you will be sorely missed.   

       Even though I have drifted away from the Halfbakery somewhat, I will always pop in now and then. There is much I have learned here, many unexpected things. You can be a friend without ever meeting someone face to face, and true friend at that.   

       We will miss you very, very much.
DesertFox, Jul 21 2006

benfrost, Jul 21 2006

imaginality, Jul 21 2006

cromagnon, Jul 21 2006

       Well, I just feel wretched now. It's never a good time to lose, and this is one of those times. There's never a good time to sit alone with an empty, pained spot inside, as it is now.   

       Best regards, good baker. May the four winds blow you safely home.
reensure, Jul 21 2006

       oh no...
ConsulFlaminicus, Jul 21 2006

MikeOliver, Jul 21 2006

       If true, this sad news was expected, but is still a shock. Bristolz’s intelligence, artistic talent and bravery in the face of death humbled and inspired me. Her clever postings and balanced moderator comments helped shape and guide the bakery. If there is a heaven, see her there, felt pen in hand, astonishing the angels.
FarmerJohn, Jul 21 2006

       It's always a shame to find those losses you cannot fathom. I didn't know Bris, but for those who did, I am so deeply sorry.   

       And, for [bristolz]: One Last +   

shapu, Jul 21 2006

       Here's hoping that bz is going to pop in any minute and say something pithy and Mark Twain-ish. Faith holds fast when hope hangs its head.
st3f, Jul 21 2006

       it aint gonna happen. bz doesn't play games, certainly with our emotions.   

       bye, bye bz. you were the only person that I truly envied and totally loved.
po, Jul 21 2006

       As [5th Earth] said, I didn't know [Bris] as alot of you others obviously do, but it is deeply saddening to hear a fellow halfbaker, or indeed anyone who is well respected, has succumbed to such a relentless and awful illness. If this is indeed true, my condolences to her family and all who knew her.
kuupuuluu, Jul 21 2006

       If it be true, then I wish you a heartfelt goodbye, bristolz. Please forgive me for offending you my first day here.   

       There is a definite community here, a core of well-meaning, friendly, and intelligent people. Being a bit of an outsider and not knowing bris personally, I hope I don't seem out of place posting this here as I am still relatively new and a consistently intermittent halfbaker (if I can even be allowed to call myself that). I often just like to sit and observe, getting some great laughs, and being generally intrigued by all that post. Watching the antics of this dysfunctional family play out in words across the screen often gives me enough mirth to take the edge off of my worst days.   

       Although bristolz, if this be true, I can say I will miss you; to the rest of the community here, especially those closest to her, I wish you my deepest sympathy. May both her real family and her online one here be able to make it through the grief.   


       so this is goodbye [bris]. Thank you for your humor, your encouragements, and your art. I will miss you.
dentworth, Jul 22 2006

       Rest in peace, old friend. I miss you.
thud, Jul 22 2006

DenholmRicshaw, Jul 22 2006

Ling, Jul 22 2006

Those who understand language well impress me.
bristolz, Feb 22 2006

       I'm glad you're well impressed.
spidermother, Feb 22 2006
[edit, delete]

       Darn, you just lowered my esteem!
bristolz, Feb 22 2006

       Not my intention! I really meant, Omigosh, we've impressed Bristolz! I just have a tendency to find alternative meanings in everything.   

       When I'm feeling upset, I listen to 'Accidentally Kelly Street" by Frente and look at your Hullaballoon drawing. Cheers me up no end. There. Feeling better now?
spidermother, Feb 22 2006
[edit, delete]

       Oh, I suppose. ;-)
bristolz, Feb 22 2006

       My last exchange with [bristolz], from Abandon Future Tenses. I'm glad it ended on a happy note.   

       I wept when I read this, [half], which took me by surprise. May we all aspire to do such good.
spidermother, Jul 22 2006

       +I will miss her so
senatorjam, Jul 22 2006

       Very sad. She was always a voice of wit and intelligence here.
hippo, Jul 22 2006

       I haven't been around for some years now, the job that I had that let me spend most of the night on the .5Bakery is long gone, and after working in AOhelL, I didn't have the energy to read a bunch of things...   

       Bristolz is/was (delete whichever is appropriate) one of the highlights...missed her a lot when I couldn't be around anymore, the silly puns and sillier drawings...   

       You will be missed, Lady.   

       And Po, thank you for letting me know.
StarChaser, Jul 23 2006

       Tis a sad time indeed.
DesertFox, Jul 23 2006

       I knew Bristolz only through this site, only through her comments and annos, yet I cannot get her out of my head. Whenever I come home the first thing I do is check for confirmation that she still lives. Sadly that has not yet happened. I did not think that a death with a person I've never met would affect me so much. I'm sorry to see you go, Bristolz, more than I ever thought I would.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jul 23 2006

xrayTed, Jul 23 2006

       Modified slightly from a poem by Barnabe Googe (1540-1594):   

       “There is a Lady sweet and kind, Was never wit so pleased our mind; We did but see her hullaballooning by, And yet we love her till we die.   

       Her gesture, motion, and her smiles, Her wit, her art our heart beguiles, Beguiles our heart, we know not why, And yet we love her till we die.   

       Cupid is winged and doth range, Her country so our love doth change: But change she earth, or change she sky, Yet will we love her till we die.”
ConsulFlaminicus, Jul 23 2006

bleh, Jul 23 2006

       Adieu bz. Thanks for all the good times. You'll never truly be gone.
phoenix, Jul 23 2006

       I've wept openly only three times since becoming an adult; when I told the woman who would become my future wife, my darkest secret and she still loved me, at the birth of our daughter, and when it dawned on me that this incredible woman isn't coming back.
When I first found this place she offered me a hand in friendship, a small thing, she offered to host my sketches because I didn't know how to.
I was...unable to accept this kindness. I think I felt it would lessen me in her eyes, and I so greatly desired her respect. See, I am the product of what you would call a seriously messed up childhood, more of a Tarentino film than a childhood really, and at a very young age I built a subconscious fortress where I could hide and always be safe. Pain, ridicule, abuse, nothing could touch me there. The up-side of this is an imagination that can soar, the down-side is that after enough time has been spent in such a state, you find that the way out you left for yourself has sealed up and you end up like me, pretty much an emotional cripple, unable to let anyone close enough to befriend/harm and so I traded her offer of friendship for some misguided notion of potential future respect. I mean, how can you be friends with someone you don't respect right? Well the flipside of that one is, how can you respect someone that can't accept a friend?

       I would trade any amount of her respect for that simple offer of friendship back.   

       [half], she was one of the most insightful people I've never met and she confided in you, I think that you probably feel that you betrayed that confidence by posting this and that you would give just about anything to be able to ask her forgiveness, but I bet that if she were here she would probably be asking for yours for putting you in a position to have to.
Please don't leave the Halfbakery.
I don't think she'd have wanted that.

       She was beauty
bringing light.
We bring tears
to say goodnight.

       [2 fries], I have greatly enjoyed all your writing and ideas.
baconbrain, Jul 23 2006

       breaking sad news to people you love about people you love is soul-destroying.   

       when my dad died, it fell to me to break the news to many of his closest friends and I remember thinking that my dad would kill me when he found out I had been spreading this hurtful nonsense and those thoughts came from my own denial of his passing.   

       sometimes one just knows things and I just know that half was as important to her as she to him. their friendship just shone out as they jested together here at halfbakery - I have watched it with amusement many times.   

       I hope half returns after a breathing space to mourn as he has many dear friends here including myself and we appreciated his kind words and his thoughtfulness, not just to us and bris but to her family. bless you Dale.
po, Jul 23 2006

lurch, Jul 24 2006

       No - this isn't right. No f*cking way. This - NO DAMNIT Not fair. NOT F*CKING FAIR!   

       Thank you, [half] for the post.   

       Its just not fair.
Letsbuildafort, Jul 24 2006

       Life isn't fair, and we are all going to die.   

       Rather than raging and cursing, celebrate the wonderful things Bristol brought into our lives, and be thankful that we had the chance to get to know her while she lived (in some small online sort of way).
DrCurry, Jul 24 2006

       Yeah - I know that bit about life being unfair and whatnot. Just got a lot of fustration. Never really knew Bris as much as I could have, but she was one of the cornerstones of my HB experience. Just sucks, thats all.   

       A lot sad for the loss, thats all I guess.
Letsbuildafort, Jul 24 2006

       Not having signed on the HB in years it is a shock to learn this. I was alerted that something was amiss and that I needed to come see. Since I did know of her condition this is one of the things that first came to mind, but it still comes as a shock.   

       Love ya Briz, you are sorely missed. I agree with [2 fries], there have only been a couple times in my adult life where I've actually openly cried. This is one of them.
barnzenen, Jul 24 2006

       My condolences to her family. I feel very sad.   

       An illustration she made on one of my ideas makes it look like you could pluck an egg right out of the screen & crack it open. I had emailed her & in my spaced brained sort of way, had really intended to ask her how to get an illustration posted. She told me she was feeling a little too ill to do an illustration right then.   

       I, not realising what I do now, apologize & say I hope she gets to feeling better & she went and did an illustration anyway. It was Realism by bristolz - so talented. Well beyond what I had done. I look back w/ blurry eyes & hope that others will remember her the way some here do.   

       If I am in err in taste with this paragraph, please, anyone say the word & I will remove it as soon as I can. There is a web site you can find by searching Live Strong. I became aware of it when I saw Lance Armstrong host the ESPY awards. It seems that this is too late to help our beloved bristolz, but it may help others like her. I was stunned by the statement he made saying 'half of the people you know will have cancer at some point in their life'.   

       I think She Lived Strong. I thought she was brighter than an MIT grad. Like another friend I lost, (too young, not fair, too talented & ne'er a mention of such a weight,) I cry for myself that I didn't really know them better.
Zimmy, Jul 25 2006

       My prayers are also turning to [half] who needs to know that he did not do anything wrong. I think that most will agree, he made this post from his heart. No one can do wrong when it comes from the heart. There were no bad intentions, other than he felt as though he betrayed her confidence. I'm hoping he can forgive himself, as we are the hardest on ourselves.   

       If anyone knows how to reach him, please console him. He mustn't leave the halfbakery for this reason.
xandram, Jul 25 2006

gnomethang, Jul 25 2006

notmarkflynn, Jul 25 2006

       Farewell, Bristol. Your presence will be greatly missed.   

       I thought I'd share one of my favorite [bristolz] quotes from an e-mail exchange that took place many years ago. I wrote her a compliment in regards to a compliment she paid me here on the HB: "In any case, I am flattered that you're flattered but worry that if this sentiment were to be extended any further we'll be snared in the echoes of honeyed words, never to escape."   

AfroAssault, Jul 25 2006

       My life is an echo of 2 fries, so I too am unaccustomed to this lowering of my mental shields :(.....   

       Bris: Although we never met, each of your illustrations are a thousand words of insight into your brilliant, brilliant mind, and I'm privileged to have had that small glimpse. I'll miss your humour, talent, and kindness immeasurably.
TIB, Jul 26 2006

       //Achey Breaky Heart? That's not Garth Brooks.
- Bristolz, 'Toe Shuffle' - my first halfbakery idea//

       I never told you that you were right...

       Can we get the Hullaballoon to be allowed a legendary 3.5 buns?
froglet, Jul 26 2006

       I don't know what to say. We were all worried, but I don't think anyone really believed it would come to this. Well, anyone that didn't know the details.   

       Time only permits us so much. I sincerely hope I leave a legacy half as worthwhile.   

       [po] mind if I give you that hug in person? We none of us know what time remains to us.   

david_scothern, Jul 26 2006

       Bris, I will miss the wit and wisdom in your emails and everything else you did. I can't describe how happy I was when you did a drawing for one my ideas.   

       It is said that time travel is tough because possibly the slightest change can have massive effects. Bris you've had a wonderful and positive effect on many around the globe, what could come of this will be sweeping.
sartep, Jul 27 2006

etherman, Jul 27 2006

       I keep logging in, expecting to see an annotation that this is an error
senatorjam, Jul 27 2006

       Me too.
DrBob, Jul 28 2006

       Me three.
StarChaser, Jul 28 2006

       Hoping is a better word for me.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jul 28 2006

       After 15 re-writes, all I can say is that Bristolz will be missed by me.   

       There is nothing that can be said to bring her back or to ease the pain that we all feel losing her. Bristolz was a total "class act".   

       Rest easy Bristolz.
Klaatu, Jul 28 2006

       Twice I dreamed that [bristolz] was still alive. Once I dreamed that she came back to annotate and tell the bakery about her illness.   

       I didn't know her. My heartfelt condolences to those who did.
david_scothern, Aug 03 2006

       yes you did. i'm sorry that I can't laugh.
blissmiss, Aug 04 2006

       I feel dispicable, but I've searched the Seattle Times obituaries. I can't find anything that would describe someone like bristolz. Perhaps, maybe, she is still there somewhere, being bristolz? I wish & I hope. but in err, me to slink off under a rock. It's just that I don't want to accept her having to go.   

       She, undoubtably is beloved, by not only us, but numerous other sites as well. I feel dirty trying to find out what is going on, Yet I still cling to a hope. Though, I think my mind is not strong enough to turn up the proof of what I, myself want to see.
Zimmy, Aug 04 2006

       I know how you feel Zimmy. I also find myself holding on, waiting for some news, good or bad. What if she is still alive but afraid to come back on for fear of embaressment and how we might treat her afterwards?   

       I could understand that and would hope that if she felt that way she would at least tell us that she is ok and then move on to another name. But really I hope that she would understand that she is much beloved and that we would treat her the same way if that is her wish. I continue to hope...
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 04 2006

pertinax, Aug 05 2006

       I'm starting to think that "bristolz", could become the number one idea, in time.   

       That would be fitting.   

       jutta, could we open the bun gate to two per visit? Just a thought.
blissmiss, Aug 08 2006

       It's stuff like this that makes me think more of you Brits should move to the United States and teach us how to be nice to each other. Sorry to hear of this news, even though I didn't know her.
Size_Mick, Aug 08 2006

       Shucks, [Size_Mick], don't run yourselves down. I think the kindness here has a fairly even geographical distribution.
pertinax, Aug 08 2006

DocBrown, Aug 08 2006

       Our worst fears have been confirmed. I just visited bris's site and found an update, simple and to the point. I think each of us should go there on our own.   

       Me? I'm turning out the lights and listening to John Lennon's Imagine. Somehow it feels like the right thing to do at a time like this.   

       bris, I miss you.
Canuck, Aug 09 2006

       May you rest in peace Bris,
A Superlative human being, there just aren't enough words.
We miss you...
The_Englishman_Abroad, Aug 09 2006

       When the race gets hard to run, It means you just can't take the pace. When it's time to have your fun, You find the tears run on down through your face, Then you stop and think a little: Are you the victim of the system? Anyday now they gon' let you down; Remember, Natty will be there To see you through.   

       And ain't it good to know now: Jah will be waiting there. (I) Ain't it doggone good to know (know) , you all; Jah will be waiting there. Wait in Summer, wait in Spring, Wait in Autumn, Winter thing, [*Tribe] goes up, all the tribe goes down: Bring my children from the end of d'earth   

       Many a time I sit and wonder why This race so - so very hard to run, Then I say to my soul: take courage, Battle to be won, Like a ship that's tossed and driven, Battered by the angry sea, yea-eah! Say the tide of time was raging; Don't let the fury fall on me, no, no!   

       (I) 'Cause I know (know) -know: Jah will be waiting there; (I) Ain't it good to know (know) now: Jah will be waiting there. Wo-oo-o-oo-o! Ooh, yeah! Lost and found, who speak I give; Lost and found, who speak I give; Speak I give, lost and found. Lost and found, who speak I give; Lost and found, who speak I give.
senatorjam, Aug 09 2006

       Goodbye bz. I miss you.
st3f, Aug 09 2006

       We'll be forever lovin' Ya! We'll be forever lovin' Ya.
(on & on & on).

       <edit> - Oh, Man. [Canuck]. Oh, Man. That wasn't there before.   

       Oh, Man.
Zimmy, Aug 09 2006

po, Aug 09 2006

       So sad.
skinflaps, Aug 09 2006

       Just the saddest news.
Fishrat, Aug 09 2006

yamahito, Aug 09 2006

       I wanted to wait until we knew for sure. [Bris] has changed the world for the better in thousands of small ways just by her presence here - I can only imagine what people who knew her better must be feeling, and my thoughts go out to each and every one of them.

neilp, Aug 09 2006

DrBob, Aug 09 2006

NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 09 2006

sartep, Aug 09 2006

xandram, Aug 09 2006

spidermother, Aug 09 2006

7ennyn, Aug 09 2006

       I can not find what you are all talking about?
blissmiss, Aug 09 2006

       Amen to that 'Bubba.
DrBob, Aug 09 2006

       Agreed, [UB]. Not much else of importance you can ask for in the end or just life in general.
sartep, Aug 09 2006

       [bliss] The bottom of the page of the last link, on the right.
Worldgineer, Aug 09 2006

       Nothing there. waugs tried as well. Nada.
blissmiss, Aug 09 2006

       Must not work in some browsers. Here you go:   

       To the friends and acquaintances of "bristolz":   

       Early June saw the end of Beez's struggle with illness. She spent her last weeks, happily surrounded by family and close friends, in the warmth of the Gulf of Mexico.
Worldgineer, Aug 09 2006

       Thank you. How very sad. I bet the sunsets were lovely for her, and glowed all around her. I hope there was no pain. Bye Bye Ms. Bris :-(
blissmiss, Aug 09 2006

Don Quixote, Aug 10 2006

       Slow day at work and I'm hitting 'Random'. Seems like everywhere I go there's a little morsel of [bz] humour or insight. Like the time she built a row of snowmen on the roadside, the middle one over a hydrant.
angel, Aug 10 2006

       thank you for that, [angel]
po, Aug 10 2006

harebrained, Aug 11 2006

       I only just read this yesterday during lunch.   

       I had to explain to a workmate why I was openly crying over the passing of a person I've never met. They simply didn't understand. I felt dirty just trying to explain.   

       As a long time reader, recent member, my heart goes out to all of you who are feeling even a little like I am right now. It took me more than a day to gather up the guff to log back in and post this.   

       g'bye briz... .
Custardguts, Aug 12 2006

       If only she had been able to see this before she went.   

       [half] You've said you were feeling bad about posting this. I think I speak for many bakers in saying that we're here, individually and as a group, if we can be of any use to you.
david_scothern, Aug 12 2006

       david, there in lies the quandry. Many knew but were held to secrecy for almost 2 years because she didn't want it to be part of the bakery. However, I think that had we not remembered her, and I thank half for that, she would have felt oddly just gone, or maybe like she didn't care enough to explain her departure.   

       All in all I believe she would approve of the way things came out, and that we were all allowed our own time, and our own way to grieve. For those of us who knew her on a personal level for quite sometime, we were already aware the time was rapidly approaching, and hence we were as prepared as one could be, given the horrific circumstances. Or atleast that is my take on this all.   

       I think she would love her drawings and ideas to be remembered more than herself. That is what I think. She gave those things, and those things brightened many lives. That is an enormous gift.
blissmiss, Aug 12 2006

       she loved the halfbakery and us...
po, Aug 12 2006

blissmiss, Aug 12 2006

       Bun, Bristolz, Bun.   

       'Nuff said.   

Mr Phase, Aug 12 2006

       Blissmiss and Po got it about right. Thanks to Bristolz for the joy.
gnomethang, Aug 12 2006

       Yup bubs, I think of the chillin. Now teens? But damn, what talent they have to blossom into.
blissmiss, Aug 12 2006

       A loss for the bakery. A loss for the world. A loss for family. A loss for all. We'll miss you Bris.
silverstormer, Aug 13 2006

       Why has this idea not been tossed to the top? It has more +'s, and no -'s.
By my accounting, which is shady at best, this idea should be within the top 10.

       It seems logical.
blissmiss, Aug 13 2006

       bliss: the "best" view excludes the Halfbakery category, for obvious reasons. Or, at least, it used to, back when I used the default view. My own "best" view, which is a top 100, includes this one at # 7. However, I would hate to think that voting on this site actually meant something, so I'm not sure I'm happy about that.
DrCurry, Aug 13 2006

       (Her family is aware of the existence of the site and know the full extent of her involvement with it. Although it's not likely that we'll see any direct reply or response to this posting, I expect that they know what's written here or will eventually.)
half, Aug 14 2006

       Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night   

       Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.   

       Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.   

       Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay Rage, rage against the dying of the light.   

       Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on it's way, Do not go gentle into that good night.   

       Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight, Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.   

       And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.   

       -- Thomas Dylan (1914-1953)
Kirkmcloren, Aug 14 2006

       I love this poem, and it's the one on my brother's tombstone. It is "Dylan Tomas". Welsh.   

       I'm sorry to sound trite, but it is one of the most sacred things to me in life. Thank you for the sentiment, though.
blissmiss, Aug 14 2006

       I was very shocked to see this page today. The posts of hers that I saw revealed to me that she had great intelligence, great taste and that she totally knew the score.
spiritualized, Aug 21 2006

       I found a quote from Bris here at the HB: (see link)   

       You Only Live Twice or so it seems, One life for yourself and one for your dreams. bristolz, May 29 2002
MoreCowbell, Aug 21 2006

       Dude. Just curious how much you know about that quote?
If you don't know, it is from the James Bond movie You Only Live Twice which has a scene where a helicopter lifts up a car with an electomagnet - which was a big part of the idea you linked to.
(I think, it's been a while since I've watched my old Bond tapes on the VCR).

       The use of the quote by her seems actually quite brilliant.
Zimmy, Aug 21 2006

       You want to see how well she "knew the score" and how she faced her situation head on? This one kept me from visiting the idea again until just now. As she posted on the "writeyourkiller.com" idea:   

       'Free radical:
[ ] "A litle early, weren't you?"'

       --bristolz, Mar 19 2003
half, Aug 21 2006

       [half] I remember seeing that & not understanding it. I just now found out that Free radical was not a description of a person. I'm so stupid.
Zimmy, Aug 21 2006

zeno, Aug 21 2006

       I had no idea until just now. She truely will be missed.
Hunter79764, Aug 21 2006

       Intentional bump, cause I can't stand the thought of her going by the wayside. Not yet atleast.   

       Any other antidotes [half]?
blissmiss, Aug 28 2006

       Thanks for the jog, bliss.   

       I find I've become very jealous of the Gulf of Mexico, for being able to hug bris as the end came near.
Canuck, Aug 28 2006

       I remember writing to her earlier, when she expressed a wish to withdraw from the HB, that she will be missed.   

       She is.
neelandan, Aug 28 2006

       Oh, [blissy]. Would that there were an antidote. I'm assuming you mean anecdote. :-)   

       Well, I did learn about something called the "chemo curl". I had no idea that when your hair grows back after chemotherapy that it might come back with curl that it didn't have and a different color. But, I suppose that's not what you were after...   

       There is another anecdote that stands out in my mind: another grace under pressure sort of story. It was some time ago, but as I recall it now, she was IM'ing me from a wireless handheld computer, testing the handwriting recognition capabilities or something. She was sitting out on the porch. Being outdoors on a nice evening in the Seattle area, she came under attack by mosquitos. In her narration of the onslaught of the bloodsuckers she wrote, "I hope the chemo kills the bastard bugs."
half, Aug 28 2006

       Ha! Wonderful.
blissmiss, Aug 28 2006

       That is an absolute crime.
GutPunchLullabies, Aug 31 2006

       Hark! That was a nice remembrance.
reensure, Sep 05 2006

       She will be present at the East Coast/New England half-con. I know this to be true.
blissmiss, Sep 07 2006

       probably not - at a far better place...
po, Sep 07 2006

       At fifth place now, just under one of her ideas, Cream cheese rings, with 116 positive and no negative votes.
neelandan, Sep 08 2006

       poignant but oh, so very correct to see her beautiful face on meta: news.
po, Sep 09 2006

       I can't seem to let this idea sink. I simply am not ready. I wonder if I ever will be?   

       I recall the "halfbaker" photo she posted, that was half of her, facing a wall. Oddly enough, the back of her was stunning in nothing grander than simply jeans and a tee shirt.   

       bris, I just wish you would awake and give us all an earful, a lesson, or a tongue lashing. We need you.   

       Crap it, I miss you on Saturdays, more than ever. Even if it was just reading you, po, and bubba beinng silly. I need that.   

       Happy Saturday, all three of you.   

       (jutta, would you prefer that I allow this to head down? I just feel wrong, but I will respect your preference.)
blissmiss, Sep 09 2006

stupop, Sep 12 2006

       I promise to come back naked. bristolz, May 18 2004
senatorjam, Sep 13 2006

       "half of her, facing a wall": a photo that was taken by her daughter and that bristolz entitled "hemi".
(Not that anyone asked. Just a bit of bristolz trivia.)
half, Sep 14 2006

       I had imagined it being done with a timer. Thanks for clarifying that. It was so well done. (Her daughter, I betcha, will be just as brilliant as her mommy was gorgeous.)
blissmiss, Sep 15 2006

       Just to bring this, from bristolz' site, to people's attention:   

       "To those linking to pictures here:

At some point soon this site and its contents will be removed. If there are pictures here that are needed they should be saved on another web site or server."
zen_tom, Sep 15 2006

       Hi everyone, I am fresh out of the bakery.. or rather 'in the'.. This being my first post ever, I might have picked the wrong place to do pin it. However, I red through your messages about this person (bristolz), and saw a lot of sadness in your words. I might be poking my nose into things that do not concern me, but I felt compelled to comment, at the risk of being flamed.   

       I make the following assumption: we know nothing of before our birth (give/take a month or two) and will know nothing after death. This makes the 'time in between' all there is. No matter which way a person looks, there is nothing before or after and at the same 'time' there are no borders. Relative to us this is eternity, since all we know has ever happened right there in our life. Any way we look, there's only borderless 'time', eternity. Although most of you have succumb to sleep by now in the face of boredom that my words must invoke, here's the punch line: every one of you is a part of her eternity. Notice 'is', because, according to her (and according to the assumption), it never began and is never ending. All there is for bristolz has YOU in it, and that is most likely not changing.   

       She is a part of your eternity as well. A well-liked part I gather, enjoy it. I know I intend to, and I have never even spoken to her or known her in life.   

       Anyway, I'm off to see her work. Cheers to all of you :)
Zus, Sep 15 2006

       "She is a part of your eternity as well."   

       Yes, person, she is. And religion has nothing whatsoever to do with it.   

       She was one of the most astounding women most of us have met.
blissmiss, Sep 16 2006

       Would anyone mind me posting a rather wordy Mark Twain tribute to his wife, if I can't find a link instead?
It is the most beautiful tribute I have ever read.
blissmiss, Sep 17 2006

       If you mean Eve's Diary, that is online (as are most of his other works) at www.mtwain.com.
jutta, Sep 17 2006

       Hi, no it is "A Tribute To An Ideal Wife". I shall google. It caused massive tears, and so much still does.   

       I hope the chapel will remain open.
blissmiss, Sep 17 2006

Helium, Sep 19 2006

blissmiss, Sep 26 2006

       I'm reminded of bris every time I see or read anything unusual to do with cars. She was a goldmine of information on cars, and explained it as being due to wedded to a car-crazy guy.
neelandan, Sep 27 2006

       There are many different kinds of people on this site. There are a few I would not want to meet in person. Others, I would love to spend an afternoon with. Bristolz was one of the latter.
zigness, Sep 29 2006

oxen crossing, Oct 05 2006

       I just read this and the world became a little darker for me. Farewell Bristolz, and may you be happy wherever you are.
madradish, Oct 13 2006

       I know I'm not the only one who still can't express the desolation that comes every time I see this page on the recent list. May God be with her family.
david_scothern, Oct 13 2006

       So strange is it
that I still miss
this little miss
I never met.
half, Nov 25 2006

       Agreed, [half]... agreed. Thanks again for letting us all know.
david_scothern, Nov 25 2006

       I think this time of year lends itself to reflection, and I find myself dwelling on losses, and those I no longer can share things with. My recent loss made it very difficult to return here, but I have so many I care, or cared for here, that I couldn't stay away.   

       I believe she would have been very pleased with you, half, and the way the whole tragic story finally unfolded.   

       I wish "Sorta Clause" was real and could bring her home to us :-(
blissmiss, Nov 25 2006

       some of your relationships here are actually more real!
po, Nov 25 2006

       Or so it seems, or seemed, or was...
blissmiss, Nov 25 2006

       Merry Christmas, Brist'
you are still missed.
Zimmy, Dec 22 2006

Susan, Dec 22 2006

       Happy Christmas [bris]
hidden truths, Dec 26 2006

       I'll raise a glass to her family. This must have been a tough christmas for them.
wagster, Dec 26 2006

       (another raised hand to be counted among those paying homage) godspeed, lovely lady
jenifemeral, Jan 03 2007

jaksplat, Jan 04 2007

       I only became a HBer last week, yet reading all these comments i already know what a truly amazing group of people you all are; and i pay homage to Bristolz... She sounds a truly inspirational person. This must have been the hardest Christmas ever for her family and i think i speak for all when i say that it takes a lot to be that strong in such tough times. Heaven help us if we have to suffer even just a little of what they must have gone through, but i'm sure if ever life throws such events at us, we shall be blessed if we have just a little of the strength that they have had... I have never known Bristolz, but my thoughts go out to her family and her soul, wherever she may be...
deoxyribonucleic, Jan 05 2007

       I haven't been around here much this year. I was really sad to find this as one of the first things I read after being away for a while.
mwburden, Jan 05 2007

       [hidden truths], as you say, "Bris was scarily intelligent". It's funny, she said the same thing about her daughter. She described her as "scary" in her intelligence and talents. It's quite scary to me to think that there's a junior version out there somewhere. ;-)
half, Jan 16 2007

       I dropped her a horse-related question once - it took a long time to come back, and she said she didn't ride much these days. Ah, it doesn't matter. Miss her. Good to be a part of this community.
normzone, Jan 16 2007

       Hey, [half], welcome back.
csea, Jan 16 2007

       Christ almighty I've away so long that I missed this entire thing.
Sorry to drag it back, but it sucked to read about this in the news section, I'll miss the input and her drawings on peoples ideas on this site.
kaz, Feb 25 2007

       Oh no.   

       Selfish reaction: I'm sorry I never met her, and I'm sorry I haven't been here in a long time because then I would've at least gotten to read more of her good words.   

       But I'm glad she was here & glad for the few times we talked. Classy, in every way. Cheers.   

       (BZ, I'm writing this in the third person instead of to "you" because I trust that if there is an afterlife, y'all have better things to do than reading the damn Internet.)
hob, May 10 2007

       It was a mutual admiration society, I recall, between her and you and farmerjohn. She linked to the drawings of you both.   

       Sadly missed everytime I logon here.
blissmiss, May 10 2007

       Just stopping by at an Airport Internet Pay-terminal. Paying some respects.
Letsbuildafort, May 12 2007

       I haven't been here for a while, wow this is a shock. She was a great artist.
simonj, May 28 2007

       Oh man, I seriously shed a tear just now. (+) in her memory. This should be in the top 10, along with her Hullaballoon. She is missed very much. Personally, I think she looks at the HB in heaven from time to time, looking at these ideas. I sincerely hope she has read this. I may not be a long-time member, but I know an incredible baker when I see one. God bless, and may the phoenixes, shadow and light, look after you.
Shadow Phoenix, Oct 18 2007

       This still makes me cry.   

       I don't come here anymore it seems, although I'd like to.   

       I just wanted to say, bristolz, we miss you.
DesertFox, Nov 07 2007

       After a long absence from the bakery I just stumbled across this. What a loss. :(
37PiecesOf Flair, Nov 09 2007

absterge, Mar 26 2008

       //Your Dad sounds like a man after my own heart, [baconbrain].//   

       Thank you, [bristolz].
baconbrain, Mar 26 2008

       I haven't visited this site in so long, I remember Bristolz fondly.   

       It is sad to lose somebody, although I knew her only through text (and images i suppose), through letters on the screen, she will live on in the same way, in this case hopefully, forever.
Trodden, Oct 27 2008

       The obit section could be modified to accept only contributions of croissants.
phundug, Oct 27 2008

       2 bones! I can't believe it.
Spacecoyote, Oct 27 2008

       It could be a mistake, maybe? People who have accidentally clicked on "against"?
nineteenthly, Oct 27 2008

       [phundug] I raised that suggestion once, a long time ago. It was firmly rejected. I thought about this for a long time, and reached the following conclusion: What value has a positive vote, if a negative vote is impossible? Equally, who is to say that voting against someone's obituary is a sign of disrespect? It may be that the poster is expressing their heartfelt wish that this had not happened. Or it may not. Don't necessarily assume that the negative vote is trolling.
david_scothern, Oct 28 2008

       Felt awkward reading bristolz' annotation in Dr. Fowler's Obituary.
kamathln, Nov 03 2008

       I suggest indicating users belonging to the obituary section in some way. May be a flower next to their User ID? The flower could link to the post in the obituary category.
kamathln, Nov 26 2008

       Funny that the passing of time does not make me miss her less
senatorjam, May 08 2009

       Wow. It's rare to come across a tragedy among strangers and so immediately feel so strikingly sad with them, like you'd been there all along.   

       I was a small kid when my family became early-adopters of the internet, and back then I was a pretty shy kid. But I found my little nook of the web, and crawled in and felt at home. I remember feeling that this place that I'd discovered was just so full of welcoming and honest people. I don't think I could tell you exactly when this seemed to stop being the norm, but I just don't seem to find it very often anymore. But as soon as I came here, even before I came across this post and felt compelled to add something, this really reminded me of that time in my life.   

       Can't pinpoint exactly why I had that impression, but it's a good thing. You guys have something amazing going on in this place, and your honest reactions here define your humble little commonwealth.
toastertester, Jan 08 2010

       You know, I had the same reaction.
DrWorm, Jan 11 2010

       That would have made bristolz very proud, I think. She was the satiny fabric that this place was made of.
blissmiss, Jan 11 2010

       I never knew her, never saw her, and joined long after any opportunity for interaction could possibly take place.   

       And yet, I'm crying my eyes out.   

Hive_Mind, Feb 19 2010

       I'm really not sure what the living Bristolz would have thought of all this.
WcW, Feb 19 2010

       I wish people would say something positive, and/or reflective about bris, or say nothing at all.
blissmiss, Feb 19 2010

       It's a shame bristolz was before my time, she seemed such an innovative thinker   

       Here goes nothing: "Such a moving person with so many moving words in her wake"   

       I wish you but the best, wherever you may be bristolz
xxobot, Feb 25 2010

       Her illustration of our "Cat Ejection Pack" idea still adorns the wall of our Cube.
8th of 7, Feb 25 2010

       Oh, god tears leaked from my eyes reading this all again.
Zimmy, Jul 03 2010

rcarty, Jul 03 2010

       liquid gold, that's what those tears were, just lovely liquid gold.
blissmiss, Jul 24 2010

       We have come a long way.
senatorjam, Jul 17 2017

       Alas no trace of her illustrations, but they must be somewhere? Still much missed.
xenzag, Jul 17 2017

       I saved them at one point but I have a horrible feeling I lost them sometime since.
nineteenthly, Jul 20 2017

       Xenzag, nineteenthly, fret not. I found her homepage on the wayback machine (see link).
I think if you like them, she wouldn't mind you taking another copy to ensure their preservation.
Loris, Jul 20 2017

       Been doing that, thanks [Loris]. And that makes me think too, because in a sense many internet users can be resurrected in some form, which could be terrible taste or a respectful memorial and I can't decide which.
nineteenthly, Jul 20 2017


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